Becoming

Downton Abbey - down to the wire

2012-02-13T11:22:00.004-06:00

Here's me as the Dowager Countess, enjoying my tea under the trees.
"Where's the lemon? I asked for lemon!"

The penultimate episode in Season 2 was last night. Two hours of bliss, and thankfully G opted to lie down on the couch before it started and slept through it. His going-to-bed routine usually starts about 8:30, so I was prepared to miss part of the episode if he woke up.

Since I know now that some of you don't watch the latest episode on Sunday nights, I won't say anything to spoil what's happened. (Even though the 2nd season has been available for sale since at least early January. So some people on this side of the pond know the whole story.) But there are some interesting, surprising, and even shocking developments.

And by the way - wouldn't it be nice to be having tea out on the lawn, with that beautiful estate in view? I'm afraid for me, though, I'd be worried about inconveniencing whomever it was that had to haul the table, cloths, silver, china, and food all that way.

Reasons to be Cheerful and Thankful

2012-02-09T16:51:00.010-06:00

The lilies of the valley are opening, and their fragrance is beautiful.

The forsythia blooms have peaked, and now the branches are producing leaves. A few blossoms have fallen, but the overall effect is still beautiful and springy. I may have to cut some new branches to bring inside and coax when these are done.

And last, I'm reminded again of how lucky we have been with some of our caregivers. Elizabeth, who is with us a couple of evenings a week plus during the day on Saturdays and part of Sundays, has the nicest way about her. She has an easy and infectious laugh, and endless patience. Great sense of humor and caring attitude. When she arrives, she makes of point of greeting G with a handshake and inquiring how he's doing. I get a hug and the same query. When she leaves, she shakes hands with G, tells him when she's coming next, and then gives me a hug. (We've had a few caregivers who act like they can't wait to escape and leave calling goodbye over their shoulders as they run out the front door.) When she's here during mealtimes, she joins us at the table (not all the caregivers do this, but I want each one to do what makes them comfortable), and it's wonderful for me to have her join us. Mealtimes without her are pretty quiet. I feel I can ask her advice on things, and she offers suggestions that are useful. I usually have a meeting or exercise class right after dinner, and she always tells me to go do what I need to do, that she will clean up. And the living room is always neatened, pillows plumped, cover on the couch straightened, lap robes folded, before she leaves. All this is on top of her care for G. We are very blessed to have her.

What's cheering you this week? Share in the comments or write your own post, then visit PlanetPenny's cheer this week to link your post and share with others.

Blatant request

2012-02-09T10:01:00.005-06:00

My niece, who is a passionate vegan, as well as a wife and mother of three small boys, has been blogging about healthful eating for about a year now. She is also building a business called Veggie Kids around this topic and is always looking for ways to get the word out about her business and the information she has to share.

She's entered a contest for best vegan/vegetarian mom-blogs, which, if she finishes in the top 25, will up her exposure in the marketplace.

You can vote once a day through February 14th. If you wouldn't mind, click here, scroll down to find her entry "Veggie Kids" and click the Vote button. Right now she's number 19.

Vote early and vote often. :) Thanks!

Sense of humor required

2012-02-07T11:02:00.004-06:00

As part of G's getting-up-in-the-morning routine, I slip his shoes (which are left loosely tied, always) onto his feet before he sits up on the edge of the bed, so that as soon as his feet hit the floor, he has better purchase. I didn't used to do that, but the day his feet slid out from under him and he nearly went off the edge of the bed, I changed our process.

There is always some wincing from G, because of back pain or because of foot pain, during this time. This morning, as I was putting on his shoes, he was a little more vocal than usual, especially when the second shoe was going on. I considered not putting it on, but thought it better to have both shoes on and have him complain a bit about it than to have him lose his footing when putting his feet on the floor. I asked him if it was his back or his foot that was hurting, and he said his foot. Oh, well. Nothing to be done but be as gentle as I could be.

After he sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, I said, as I always do, "OK, now move your feet back before you try to stand up." Then I looked at his feet.

OMG.

"G," I said, "I've put your shoes on the wrong feet!"

He looked down and burst out laughing.

And then was kind enough to wait while I ran for the camera to record my goof.

Downton Abbey

2012-02-06T11:50:00.004-06:00

As hoped, last night's episode was excellent. So many story lines, so well told! More intrigue! A poseur claiming to be Patrick, who had drowned on the Titanic, with an unlikely explanation of why he didn't drown! Twinges of feeling by Matthew! More threats by Mrs. Bates!

A few days ago, I was catching up on old issues of Newsweek and read an article by a writer who was dismissive of the overwhelming popularity of Downton Abbey in the US. He said if the story were told correctly, Sybil would have carved a "V" for the Women's Vote on her breast, Matthew would have been killed not just injured in the war, blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps the writer didn't know this was ENTERTAINMENT and not a documentary. Whatever. I'm enjoying it immensely and can't wait for more. The last two episodes, next week and the following, will each be two hours long. Yes!

Reasons to be Cheerful in February

2012-02-04T21:57:00.009-06:00

I have flowery reasons to be cheerful this week:

The forsythia branches that I cut 10 days ago are in full bloom,

and the lilies of the valley dug from the garden in early January are thriving. The flower buds haven't turned color yet, though I suspect by tomorrow there will be the first hint of white.

One of our dear caregivers brought me a little African Violet plant that she started from a leaf cutting about 2 months ago. She can't remember what the flower color will be, but whatever it is, I'm happy to have it. And I sent her home with newly dug lily of the valley pips and freshly cut forsythia branches to coax.

Outside, because we continue to have extraordinarily warm weather, the snow drops are up, and so are the crocuses, though the flower buds are only just visible. I've never seen snow drops earlier than March 1st - and mid March is more typical - but I looked for and found them on February 1st. If we get a return to normal (i.e., cold) weather, I don't know if there's anything I should do to protect them.

I spent last week's $40 class action settlement on a Chinese foot and body massage. It was heavenly.

And speaking of Chinese: my nephew just found out that he is a finalist for a Fullbright Scholarship for China, 2012-13. He spent his junior year in China and Taiwan and wants to go back. Not sure when he'll find out if he is selected, but this is wonderful news. He's fluent in several languages, but when I asked him if he had learned anything useful while he was in China, like pressure point foot massages, the answer was no. What kinds of things are they teaching university students these days?!

What's making you cheerful? Be sure to visit Penny for more cheer.

What a difference a year makes

2012-02-01T11:29:00.004-06:00

My mom, Saturday, February 5, 2011
More shoveling was still needed to allow the cars to pass
on the far side of the turnaround between me and where she is standing.
Behind her is the rest of the driveway down to the road.

A year ago today, about 2 in the afternoon, began a blizzard of "historic proportions" as it was later called. We had fair warning so were prepared. At the time, G and I were living with my parents for a few months while our house was being remodeled to improve accessibility for G. G's older daughter K and her middle child, P, a freshman at university in Utrecht, were visiting us during his school break, and they, being from Holland and not used to this kind of weather, were very excited that they would be experiencing a blizzard. We made sure we were home by 1pm on February 1st, stocked up with some games and movies, and then we waited for the storm to move in. And it did.

It was a wonderful feeling, knowing we were safe and warm inside and with no need to be anywhere else. We hung out in the family room, which has big windows overlooking the long view down my parents' front yard, so it was an impressive sight to see the snow move in, the high winds, impaired visibility, all while still light. It snowed all afternoon and all through the night, and stopped by mid-morning. When the sun came out, more than 20 inches of snow had fallen.

My parents have someone who, unasked, shows up with his Jeep and plows their driveway, which is about 200 feet long and has a turnaround near the house. We were glad to see him appear that morning, but surprised when, about a quarter of the way up the driveway, he stopped, got out, got back in, backed down the driveway, and drove away.

So K, P, and I bundled up, got some shovels, and started in on the driveway where the plow guy left off, thinking he would be back shortly once we cleared some of the mounds he had piled up. We kept shoveling, and shoveling, and shoveling. It was gorgeous outside, cold but not windy, bright snow, brilliant blue sky, and Oscar doing his best to chase squirrels through snow that was almost above his head. We let P, a big strapping 19-year-old, have the biggest shovel, I took the next biggest one, and K the smallest one. K and I would stop periodically to rest and enjoy the view, and so did P, but not as often as we did.

We shoveled all the way up the driveway and the side of the turnaround closest to the house, as well as the area in front of the garage. We thought the plow guy would be back, and my dad told us to leave the far side of the turnaround untouched.

By Saturday, 3 days later, with K and P safely back in Holland and no sign of the plow guy, I decided there was nothing for it but to finish the shoveling. My mom wanted to come out and help, so the two of us (and Oscar), spent an hour and a half or so and finished clearing the snow. It was fun to be doing this with my mom, and I know she felt great to be able to do the work. When we were done, we heard the roar of a snow blower from across the street, so we walked down the driveway with our shovels to offer our services to the neighbor. My mom knew he would say no but wanted to tease him a bit by us showing up with our shovels, ready to help.

I can't say I miss having a repeat performance of last year's storm. All this week we are above normal temperatures, in the 40's and 50's, and it is blissful. But I love remembering last year and how the blizzard played out.

This one's for you, Mrs. Micawber

2012-01-31T11:05:00.006-06:00

Mrs Micawber is Captain of the local Grammar Police.

From Dave Blazek's Loose Parts Comics.

Downton Abbey and more

2012-01-30T10:27:00.007-06:00

Well, another wonderful hour of Downton Abbey last night!

After reading some of the interviews with Julian Fellowes and Gareth Neame on the PBS website a week or so ago, I decided to watch Gosford Park (written by Fellowes) as well as The Buccaneers (an old Masterpiece series). The Buccaneers, based on the book by Edith Wharton, is about the time period after the Civil War when young American heiresses went to England in search of titles, and impoverished English title-holders sought monied brides to allow them to hold on to their estates. This was Fellowes' inspiration for the character of Cora, who, we learned in the first season, brought her American money to her marriage to Lord Grantham, which was then irrevocably tied into the estate.

Gosford Park was wonderful. I had to repeat the first 30 minutes to get the characters straight - whose valet is whose? Which ones are the sisters, and which men are their husbands? It wasn't obvious from their behavior - quite the contrary.

The Buccaneers, made in 1995, was awful - and as I watched, I remembered just how bad it was when it was first broadcast. The dialog and acting was dismal. And then to contrast it with Downton Abbey made it even worse. So after about an hour and a quarter (why did I even watch that much?), I gave up.

In one of the interviews with Fellowes about creating Downton Abbey, he talks about pulling characters from people or situations he knew of in his own life, including the story of the dead diplomat being carried across the house in the middle of the night. Start at 5:30 to hear that part - really fascinating.

Oh, drat. I've embedded this twice, changed the dimensions, and still it shows too large to view. So never mind the embed: here's the link.

For your viewing pleasure

2012-01-29T06:00:00.001-06:00

A Rube Goldberg-like machine. Less than 2 minutes. Very clever.

My neighbor sent it along with a link on the background on the production, which involves St. Olaf where her youngest is at university.

It may not look like much yet...

2012-01-27T16:00:00.008-06:00

...but there are going to be lily of the valley blooms --

this morning I saw flower buds!

What do you mean you can't see anything?

Here - put on your readers.

There!

And there!

*big smiles*

Started here, next was here.

Reasons to be Cheerful

2012-01-26T06:00:00.011-06:00

I've got some easy ones this week:

A nearby park in which I have never before seen a pond.
The combination of 6 or more inches of snow on Friday,
a downpour Sunday night, and frozen ground
produced a nice temporary spot for geese.

There was a big rainstorm Sunday night, accompanied by thunder and lightning (not our usual fare for January), which cleared the sidewalks (and lawns) of most of the snow and ice. So walking Oscar this week has been a pleasure.

We had my city cousin and her husband of 15 months over for a Sunday afternoon late lunch, which was their bridal shower gift - it took this long for our calendars to align. My parents came, too, and G enjoyed all the conversation, which really pleased me. And was pretty wiped out by the time they all left.

And last, I received a check from a class action suit that I had heard nothing about for more than three years, so this was a nice little surprise. Not that $40 will make or break us, but a friend of mine told me of waiting several years for a class action settlement and finally getting her check -- for $2. That makes the $40 seem positively lavish.

Hop over to Penny's for more winter cheerfulness.

Coaxing Winter

2012-01-25T06:00:00.007-06:00

Keeping the candles burning, too

As my contribution to the January Making Winter Bloghop, dreamed up by Silverpebble and Thrifty Household and hosted this month by Emma at Silverpebble, I'll continue my efforts to make winter days cozy by bringing spring a bit early. This requires more patience than effort.

I talked about forcing - er, coaxing lilies of the valley a few weeks ago by digging pips from the garden during a thaw and bringing them into the house...

January 6

...and this is how the two pots look now:

January 24

See what I mean about patience? It will probably take another 3 or 4 weeks for them to flower - assuming some of these shoots do produce flowers. They don't all in nature, so I've tried to improve my odds by putting lots of pips in the pots.

I've just cut some forsythia branches from our yard, making sure to choose ones with a lot of buds...

See how much our snow has melted?
Sunday night's rainstorm washed a lot away.

...and have put the branches in an old pitcher. Their feet are in water that's had a tiny bit of sugar, citric acid, and bleach added to it to encourage flowering and reduce bacterial growth in the water over the weeks it will take for the forsythia to bloom. I've not amended the water in the past, but I thought I'd try the same concoction I use for flower arrangements.

Even before they flower, I like the look of the branches - kind of wild. I'll keep you posted on progress.

There are some delectable things going on this month in the making winter category; hop over to Emma's and see what's cooking - and what's knitting, sewing, and appreciating.

Update January 27: tiny lily of the valley flower buds!

Update February 4th: forsythia in full flower!

Update February 9th: lilies of the valley blooming and fragrant...mmm.

Geraldine Brooks

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-06:00

I may be the only person who had not heard of this author. In the fall, my cousin told me about one of her books, Year of Wonders, and then loaned it to me. Then loaned me Caleb's Crossing. The library provided the rest of her works: March (for which she won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction); People of the Book; Foreign Correspondence: A Pen Pal's Journey from Down Under to All Over.

Without intending to, I've been reading her books in almost reverse order, and am now on her first book, Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women, a non-fiction account based on her work in the Middle East as a reporter. Interesting and disturbing, it's not my favorite of her books but is still fascinating.

Her four most recent works are all fiction, based on some historical fact. She explains at the end of the novels what inspired her and more about the factual event that launched her fiction. She's a remarkable writer and researcher. These are books I could read again.

Downton Abbey - which character are you?

2012-01-23T13:56:00.005-06:00

Ah, the third episode of season two aired last night. So satisfying!

A friend sent me a "Which DA character are you?" quiz, and I'm Sybil. That made me pretty happy - I like her character. So far, anyway. Who knows what will happen in future episodes.

Then I went to the PBS site and they have a different quiz from the Guardian, and I'm the Dowager Countess. Hmmm. OK, I can live with that. It says I don't suffer fools lightly. This quiz has the more amusing questions, like: If you are upstairs at Downton Abbey and hear the front door bell, what do you do? A. "What's a bell?" Very droll!

What if one of these quizzes had said I was O'Brien? Or worse, Thomas?! I think I won't take any more quizzes, just in case.

"Happiness, meet Science"

2012-01-22T06:00:00.001-06:00

In June, I wrote about the "Three Good Things" journal, which I had read about in a Chicago Tribune article titled "Happiness, Meet Science." And then I was reminded of it on a webinar on positive emotions by Janet Edmunson. The nightly accounting takes me just a few minutes, and I've found it to be helpful, even on days when I have to think hard about finding three good things to record.

One of the things I like about Ms. Edmunson is her references to positive psychology research to explain why different techniques are effective. In her latest webinar, she mentioned a website called randomactsofkindness.org while she was explaining that giving kindness to others improves our own well-being.

Here's a 3 minute video from that site, about research being done at the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley. Even the music makes me feel better!

Another website mentioned during the webinar was 29gifts.org - started by a woman with MS, who has gotten physically and emotionally better when a friend urged her to start focusing on others. An interview on the Today show from a few years ago tells the story, which is a great reminder of how powerfully our positive or negative emotions can affect our physical health.

The chronology of snow

2012-01-20T23:58:00.001-06:00

3:00pm

I'm home from work, the caregiver has departed to make her way home, G is taken care of and snoozing on the couch, and the snow is pouring down. About two and a half inches so far.

I bundle up, take Oscar outside, and start clearing snow.

We may be at the halfway point of this storm, or not quite. But I like shoveling snow in increments, so this is a good time to start.

A lone remnant of nodding pink onion, still tied to its support.

Oscar is good company, but doesn't get the logic of shoveling. He tends to follow me, so with every pass, I ask him to move out of the way so I can make the next one. Occasionally he sits in a cleared area to wait for something interesting to happen. Then I can get into a rhythm of push and lift, push and lift. It is a dry and fluffy snow, easy to shovel.

4:00pm

I've finished the patio, the sidewalk in front of our house and the house north of us, the sidewalk and front walk of the house to our south, our front walk, steps, stoop, and driveway. Talked with our neighbors' mother / mother-in-law, who is there for the weekend to take care of her granddaughters while her son and daughter-in-law have a rare weekend away. And another inch has fallen in the hour I've worked, so I clear the patio again.

When I come inside and pull off my stocking hat, I see in the mirror that I don't just have hat hair, I have Ed Grimley hair.

5:00pm

I hear the sound of a snow blower and can see out the front windows that another neighbor is clearing part of our sidewalk. I'm glad I did the first pass of his walk for him, even though it wouldn't make much difference in his work load.

The light outside is the blue of snowy twilight, and still the snow comes.

5:30pm

Snow shovel scrapes on our driveway. I peer out the kitchen window as I prepare dinner, but it's too bright inside for me to see out. I crack open the back door and see one of the neighbor girls shoveling our driveway. I call my thanks, and tell her not to feel like she has to do the whole thing, but she calls back that she can finish it.

10:00pm

G is tucked into bed. I've been checking on the snow's progress through the evening, and now it has finally stopped. Oscar and I head back outside. The patio has another 3 inches since I last shoveled it, the driveway one and a half or so since our neighbor girl finished, but the sidewalks are clear. My snow blower neighbor must have come by again without my noticing.

It is very quiet, the quiet of muffled night. It's cold and still. The snow glitters in the light from the kitchen window.

I can hear another shoveler somewhere in the neighborhood, and the occasional shush of a car going by on the snowy road. Oscar barks when he hears a plane overhead. I hear an unusual number of planes as I shovel, and I think about all the tired and grateful passengers who had been on delayed or cancelled flights, and who are now on their way to where they should have been hours ago.

My shoveling is almost done, and I reach the bottom of the driveway at the road. It is full of packed and heavy snow from the road plows that have been by. Shoveling the mounds of heavy street snow from the driveway disturbs my earlier easy rhythm of push and lift, push and lift. But soon that snow, too, is cleared, and Oscar and I can go back inside.

Retracted

2012-01-20T06:00:00.002-06:00

I drive past a defunct Amoco station (yes, Amoco, not BP - that's how defunct it is) every day on my way to and from work. Last summer, fencing went up around the property and the building was taken down. The deconstruction took a long time.

Recently a new building finally began to go up - it didn't look like another gas station, but I thought, "Oh, please, it can't be another bank."

It seems that every third new construction project, especially if on a corner, is a bank. Really, how many bank branches do we need?

Today I noticed a sign had finally gone up identifying what the partially built structure was going to be.

Oh.

It's a branch of MY bank.

On my work route.

In fact, on the right side of the street to pull in on my way home from work.

Excellent!

So convenient for me!

Er...please disregard earlier rant.

Reasons to be Cheerful in mid-January

2012-01-18T21:53:00.009-06:00

Saturday my friend C suggested we walk from her place to the next village, to an upscale resale shop that was having a sale, and then have lunch. It was about a 30 minute walk, cold and sunny, a bit challenging on not-always-cleared-of-snow sidewalks, but very satisfying braving the snow. We congratulated ourselves on how hearty we are.

The best part of the walk was seeing the beautiful and well-maintained old homes along our way. I only took a picture of one place that day, but we both had the same reaction when we saw this particular house:

Love the chimney!

The resale shop didn't have anything we felt we had to have, but it was fun to browse.

Lunch was at a certified green restaurant and was delicious. Locally sourced foods in a cozy setting - a fire in the fireplace and a three-piece jazz combo who played throughout our meal.

Our CSA farmer provided a lot of varieties of winter squash in the last couple of months of the season, and from the red kuri squash, I made risotto.

I'd never heard of red kuri before, and when I read up on it, I learned that it has a flavor reminiscent of chestnuts.

Since I've not had chestnuts, I didn't know what to expect, but it was not as sweet as I expected and was a little bit nutty (or perhaps I was swayed by what I'd read).

The risotto was delicious.

And last, with apologies for it being (again) about weather - we were supposed to get a couple of inches of snow and didn't, so it was easier for G to go to the day program yesterday, and the next big storm of four to six inches is expected on Friday when G will be home. So dodging the (snow) bullet makes me happy.

More cheerfulness is on tap at PlanetPenny's.

Around the garden

2012-01-17T18:43:00.014-06:00

Japanese windflower

Sunday, two days after the six or so inches of snow, it was still cold and sunny. After Oscar and I took an afternoon walk in the neighborhood, we toured the garden. Not much color, but some lovely forms. Winter interest, my teacher at the Morton Arboretum said.

He waits while I frame a shot.

Red twig dogwood

Blue spirea

Rose hips, species unknown (from my grandmother's garden)

Conifer, species unknown

Northern sea oats

Sedum, Autumn Joy

Wood aster

The berries are real! From Trader Joe's; I'm glad they are still so bright.

What?! Only an hour?!

2012-01-16T11:11:00.005-06:00

Last week's first Downton Abbey episode of the new season was 2 hours.

Last night's episode, while wonderful, was only an hour.

I was ready to wallow in 2 hours of Downton Abbey. Now I've looked at the schedule, and we'll have mostly one hour with the occasional 2 hour episodes. I see I'll need to do my homework more carefully to avoid wailing with disappointment when the episode ends before I'm ready.

Reasons to be Cheerful

2012-01-12T18:44:00.006-06:00

The snow begins...

My weekly list!

Went out to lunch on Saturday with my friend and neighbor; we used to walk together every morning, but other things have gotten in the way of our daily walks, so it was good to get caught up. And have lunch out!

The snow started this morning but didn't start building up until I had gotten G into the car and on the way to the day program. And it didn't come quite as fast and furious as I thought, so the trek back into the house this afternoon wasn't too arduous. We've had 3+ inches and up to 3 or 4 more are predicted, but later tonight.

Our choir director cancelled choir rehearsal tonight, which makes me happy. I had already decided not to go and had called the caregiver to tell her not to come (and she was glad!). Better the director cancel than I be the one to say I'm not coming. So we are home, feeling snug and grateful for our warm home and that we don't have to go anywhere tonight (other than perhaps some more shoveling). Bean soup with smoked turkey is on the menu. Mmm, mmm.

The view from my study window, 6:30pm

Check out Planet Penny for more cheerfulness this week.

Last walk before winter

2012-01-11T22:41:00.002-06:00

Oscar and I walked this afternoon, and it was beautiful - more than 50F, sun with a few clouds, light breeze. Tonight the waning moon was so bright in the sky.

Tomorrow begins our first major snow of the season - we've been lucky so far, and maybe it won't be the 4 to 8 inches they are predicting.

I bought a new snow shovel on my way home from work - I've worn out two over the last couple of winters, so this time I bought one with a metal edge in hopes it will last longer.

More Downton Abbey love

2012-01-10T09:59:00.003-06:00

Just came across this 4 minute video about the real Downton Abbey: Highclere Castle.

Downton Abbey

2012-01-09T12:21:00.005-06:00

Season 2 premiered here last night, and oh, it was so good!

When I watched the first season, I didn't know it was the first season - I thought all would be resolved by the end of the last episode. So I was horrified when the last scene faded with so many things unresolved - until the next image came up: Season 2 is in production now. Phew!

And I just learned that there will be a third season, so now I'm prepared for there still to be some unresolved issues by the end of this season. I can live with that.

Coaxing

2012-01-07T23:25:00.000-06:00

Forcing sounds so, well, aggressive, doesn't it? Let's say coaxing. Yes, that's it. We're coaxing some lilies of the valley to bloom out of season.

Those two little nubs in the lower center of the picture
are lily of the valley pips.
Thursday afternoon, January 5

If you'd like to play along and it's still mild in your neighborhood, find the patch where the lilies of the valley dwell. Then brush back the leaf debris until you see the little pips or growing tips poking out of the soil. This year I had trouble finding them - I think because we had the house painted in August and there was tramping going on where the lilies grow.

That and having Oscar helping me by inserting his furry self near each spot I was trying to scope. Good boy!

I finally figured out that following the withered scraps of lily leaves to their anchor point revealed the pips. Once you find yours, dig them out with a trowel, capturing some of the roots.

Plant them in a pot at the same depth they were in the garden. This is really important - plant them too deep and they spend their energy getting out of the soil and have nothing left for blooms. This is the voice of the sadder but wiser lily coaxer telling you this.

Position them much more closely in the pot than they are in nature, so you can fit more pips in a pot. This is to increase the odds of having at least some pips that produce flowers, as not all of them will. They don't all produce blooms in the garden, and they won't all here, either. Clip off any withered leaves.

Water and place in a warm sunny spot.

Friday morning, January 6

Last time I did this, it took about two weeks for there to be any sign at all of new life, and then another three or four more weeks before they finally flowered. It was a fun process, and I'm enjoying this year's already.

Come on, lilies of the valley!

Reasons to be Cheerful after New Year's

2012-01-05T13:25:00.000-06:00

Here are just a few of my Reasons to be Cheerful during this first week of 2012:

We are having gorgeous (for January) weather - sunny, 40's (anything above freezing is nice) - for the next few days. Which means that today or tomorrow I should be able to dig up some lily of the valley pips to force indoors. The last time I did this was 4 years ago, and it was fun to do - I think it took about 5 or 6 weeks to produce the blooms.

Here's what they looked like at the beginning, the last time. Telling you about this will help me get myself outside to do some digging.

G was in need of some dental repair, and fortunately the dentist was able to see him yesterday. And again, the weather makes a big difference - no attached garage means a slooowww trek across the patio to the waiting car in the driveway, plus the trek into the dentist's office from street parking - so not having ice or snow to make his progress more difficult is wonderful.

Monday I had time to undecorate the tree, and today it will be taken away to become mulch. The rest of the decorations in the house are packed and stored in the basement, with the exception of a few in the kitchen which get stored in the kitchen out of season. Those will be easy to put away when I'm ready to say good bye until next year. Our outside garland, white lights, and wreath are still up and will be for another couple of weeks, as I think of them as winter, rather than Christmas, decorations.

Those are some of my moments of thankfulness this week; for more, hop over to Penny's.

What's your word for 2012?

2012-01-03T10:01:00.000-06:00

"What's your word for 2012?"

Our BodyPump instructor asked us that on the Wednesday night before Christmas and suggested we think about it and come to the Christmas Eve morning class with our answer. She told us her word for 2011 was "Enjoy" and for 2012 is "Create, " and if we ponder, a word will come to us. Several of the people in the class have done this in past years and threw out the words they had chosen: Variety. Change. Survive. Consistency. Lead.

An interesting concept, having a word for the year.

I wasn't sure if I even wanted to have a word.

But after thinking about it, and remembering a book I read this fall, I chose my word:

Present

And committed to it by writing it down on the list our instructor provided that Saturday morning.

The book I had read a few months back is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, recommended by a friend whose husband also has dementia.

I borrowed the book from the library and had to keep renewing it, because it presents some complex concepts, and because I had other, lighter books to read that I would pick up instead of plowing through The Power of Now.

Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual person and quotes from the writings of the great world religions.

Here's what my simple brain could grasp after the first reading and that I could relate to:

Focusing on now brings inner peace.

Continuing to react emotionally to things that happened in the past is futile, as Now is the time that truly matters. I realized that the times I get irritated or frustrated with G, when I'm repeating the same thing to him for the millionth day in a row, is because I've said it so many times in the past. "Move your feet back before you try to stand up. Move your feet back. Your feet - move them back. Back. Move them back." But - if I can focus on right now, then how many times I've said it before doesn't matter. Only what is happening right now matters, and that helps me get a sense of perspective, to speak calmly and gently, which is much better for both of us.

Reacting emotionally to things that haven't happened yet is also futile. I also realized that when G is having trouble with something that previously was not a problem for him, that also makes me irritable or angry. When I thought about why this made me so upset, it's because there is an underlying fear that now he and I have a new challenge, another indicator of decline, another process that is broken and can't be repaired but has to be coped with, adapted to, dealt with. But really, often something that is a new problem is a one time event, and by the next day, G is back to being able to do whatever it was that caused a problem the prior day. So again, if I can focus on now, instead of projecting into and fearing an unknown future, I am able to coach G through whatever it might be with less drama.

Here is a 10 minute video of the author, expressing some of the concept.

He says, "When you are no longer seeking yourself in past and future, then you can honor this moment, and honoring, embrace the now. Because it is life, it is an expression of life. Embrace what is."

Obviously, my initial take on this complex book is pretty superficial.

I read a lot of books, almost all borrowed from the library. Only if I think I'll reread a book on a regular basis will I purchase it, and then it's usually a used copy. Part of my frugality, unfortunately for the authors and publishers trying to make a living. This book is one I'll be buying to read again, trying to understand more of what can help bring about inner peace.

So - do you have a word for 2012?

New Year's Eve Tea

2011-12-31T17:28:00.008-06:00

We just had the most fun afternoon.

It started with this Christmas gift from my friend C.

We had tasted samples of these scones at a shop a month or so ago,
and they were wonderful.
I had looked at the ingredient statement
to find out what made them so good,
and there was nothing all that special on the list.
Then I looked at the directions:
Add scone mix to one cup heavy cream.
OK!

So, when I received this gift from C,
we planned a high tea for this afternoon
for ourselves, G, and Elizabeth.
C brought her 3 tiered plate stand,
and my grandmother's dishes fit it perfectly.

On the menu:

Lemon scones, of course,
with butter and wild black raspberry preserves

Tea sandwiches:

Watercress and goat cheese with sliced radishes on white bread

Chives (from our garden, amazingly enough) and cream cheese
with sliced cucumbers on whole wheat bread

Salmon with fresh dill and lemon on rye bread

Curried cream cheese on cinnamon raisin bread

and

Hummus on bagel chips

Fresh pineapple and orange slices

Thin, crispy butter cookies

And tea, of course.

It was a great afternoon.

And now, it's just G and I, cozy at home,
thankful for the blessings this past year has brought.

I wish you all a happy, healthy 2012.

xxoo

Ginnie

Reasons to be Cheerful after Christmas

2011-12-30T15:19:00.008-06:00

Oscar, by Carlie.

Even though Planet Penny isn't hosting Cheerfulness again until after the new year, I still like sharing my bright spots.

We had a great Christmas with my family, and G held up well all day, with just an hour nap. On Thanksgiving he was worn out after only 3 hours, so it was a big relief to me that he was enjoying himself for such a long stretch on Christmas Day. As well, it was a beautiful cold but sunny, dry day, with no hazardous road conditions (unlike last year) for our 60-some-mile drive to my brother's.

My younger sister had G's name in the Christmas name draw (actually her husband did, but she took on the responsibility) and made G a throw - wool on one side, cotton flannel on the other, with his initial appliqued in red on the hem. She made sure it was long enough for cozy naps on the couch as well as machine washable. It was put to good use right away.

G taking a nap on Christmas Day under his new throw.

My older sister had my name, and, as she does for each gift, created art for the To/From tag. It's not just the quality of her work, it's the imagination and creativity she has to create a drawing just for the recipient. Oscar wearing a Santa hat, with a jingle bell on his red collar, was on my gift - pictured at the top of the post. So sweet.

She gave me two of the things on my wish list - special socks, and a donation to Cathedral Shelter. We all have so much, I'm always glad to have a donation made as a Christmas gift.

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, and I was able to walk Oscar before the sun set, so could enjoy some of the Christmas decorations in daylight for a change.

Shadows of snowflakes in the late afternoon winter sun.

And last for this week, since we didn't have choir rehearsal on Thursday night, some of us got together for dinner and a movie.

Hugo in 3D. So much fun. The grand old 1920's theatre we chose to attend, which is one of the few of the old suburban ones that has not been cut up into multiple smaller theatres, was new to everyone in the group except me, so there was much oh-ing and ah-ing over the restored space.

It's been a good week. Hope yours has been, too.

Christmas Eve: some random, and a Christmas story

2011-12-24T12:43:00.000-06:00

A few things to share with you while we're all still in the Christmas spirit...

A wool sweater made for me about 10 years ago by a very talented knitter

who worked at a yarn shop (sadly, now closed).
I love getting it out every year.

The tree image was one she found for a needlepoint pillow and converted to a knit pattern.

She knit little Christmas trees into the sleeves and back,
and used popcorn stitch (like tiny snowballs!) around the hem and collar.

****

Friday morning I called our broker and spoke with his assistant, Steph. We've never met, as their office is in another state, but Steph (and the broker) are great people - so very nice, so very patient with their less-than-organized client. As we finished the business I'd called about, Steph asked about our plans for Christmas, and then I asked about hers. "Oh, tomorrow morning we're doing Santa pancakes and then packing up and getting on the road to be with our extended families who live a few hours away."

Santa pancakes? When I asked what they were, she explained that when their kids were little, she had bought a Santa-shaped pancake mold to pour batter into, and it's become part of their Christmas celebration. After the pancake is cooked, they decorate it with whipped cream, chocolate chips, and maraschino cherries. And then she sent pictures from last year's breakfast!

How's that for a happy Christmas tradition?

****

And last, here's a real Christmas story.

My neighbor, J, had decided to cut down the two pine trees, both Christmas tree size, in her yard, because she wanted a different kind of tree there. She wanted to use one of her two pine trees for her own family's Christmas tree and hoped to find a family in need that might want the other.

While volunteering at a local food & clothing pantry doing intakes for new clients, J met a woman (who we'll call R) in pretty dire straights: 4 kids, now divorced, newly impoverished, she was trying to understand what resources were available. She happened to ask my friend J: do you know anyone who might donate a Christmas tree? Bingo!

J told me about R and how she was going to donate her extra tree. J teaches piano in her home, and had asked her students (her 'piano kids') if they would like to make some ornaments for R to have on the tree. I mentioned it to my mom, and she donated ornaments.

What about a tree stand? Another neighbor offered to donate one.

What about lights? I had extra strands of lights to donate.

So: Tree, stand, lights, ornaments.

Then, things got really interesting.

Because I had put out an email to our church members about families needing to be sponsored for the Cathedral Shelter Christmas Basket program, I got a number of inquiries, and we were able to place all those families that had been on a waiting list. Then I got an email from a friend of someone in the parish who liked the idea of sponsoring a family and wanted to participate. We were out of families. But - what about R? So I put this woman in touch with J. And now I'll let J tell the rest of the story, as she related to her mom in an email:

“Hi, Mom,

Do you want to hear a good xmas story?

You know that I offered a tree to a woman I met at the food pantry, right? She has 4 kids and can’t work because she has cancer and is getting chemo. She used to be a surgical nurse. She also has epilepsy from being hit by a drunk driver. Her ex was abusive and now refuses to pay any child support or alimony. He teaches law at [highly acclaimed Chicago university]. R kept holding my hand and crying when I told her we’d give her a real tree. I then asked my piano kids if any of them wanted to make home made xmas ornaments to send with the tree. Here’s what happened:

1. ended up with close to 30 ornaments. Also got a donated tree stand and 3 strands of lights.

2. One mom donated $100 food gift card to Jewel

3. A neighbor gave my name to a woman who wanted to sponsor a family at xmas. She purchased and wrapped a coat and a toy for each child, plus gave a food gift card to the mom.

4. One mom runs a foundation to help families who are facing financial difficulty due to a medical issue. She offered to help R with the application. Given that the mom is on the board and started the foundation, I think R will be served.

5. Same mom is a Family Law attorney. She said the ex-husband ought to be taken out and shot, and has offered her services free of charge to make him accountable. She is tracking him down through the state law board. Can you imagine how pissed and embarrassed he’ll be when his wages at [highly acclaimed Chicago university] start getting garnished for non-payment of child support?

6. One of R’s kids has physical and mental limitations. The School District has said they have no services for her. The same attorney has a sister who has a disabled child and is an advocate for such families. She has offered to advocate for R and her daughter to see what services the district should be offering….because they should be offering something.

7. A piano family has offered to buy a xmas present for each child as well as one for R.

……..all because I wanted a fringe tree instead of the pine trees! I offered a tree….and look at what grew from that!”

****

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

Remembered Joy: Christmas Eve

2011-12-23T06:00:00.005-06:00

Continuing Mrs. Micawber's Advent series (and oh, please read her post for this week! It's so wonderful), I'm remembering Christmas Eves when I was growing up.

Christmas Eves were spent with extended family, having dinner and waiting for Santa's tiny, winged assistant to come check on us. The gathering included my mom's only sibling - her brother - and his wife and kids (who were almost exactly the same age as we were), my maternal grandparents, and some of my mom's aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was a very happy and congenial group of people.

One year my mom made hostess skirts for us three girls and for herself to wear to the Christmas Eve party. We each had a different plaid in beautiful soft wool and felt very chic.

Each year the celebration site swapped between our house and my uncle and aunt's. The Christmas Eve party started in the late afternoon, and the main course for dinner each year was a spaghetti casserole with a cream cheese and sour cream filling. One of my mom's cousins always brought a relish tray of celery sticks, green olives stuffed with pimentos, canned black olives, carrot sticks, little sweet pickles. There was a green salad (with iceberg lettuce) with salad dressing made from Good Seasons seasoning mix, and warm rolls with butter.

Dessert was an assortment of Christmas cookies and candy: pecan puffs, fudge, spritz cookies, decorated sugar cookies. Some of the cookies were ones we kids had helped make before Christmas Eve, and that was part of the excitement of the season: helping to roll the pecan puffs in powdered sugar when they came out of the oven; unwrapping squares of bitter chocolate and sticks of butter to add to the heavy saucepan to make the fudge; trying to operate the cookie press to make the spritz cookies; cutting out and decorating the sugar cookies before they went into the oven with cinnamon red hots, green and red colored sugar, multicolored sprinkles, and silver nonpareils.

Also for dessert on Christmas Eve were nuts in the shell: a big wooden bowl, shaped like half a pecan shell, was filled with pecans, walnuts, almonds, and filberts. We sat around the table after dinner, feasting on cookies and cracking open pecans, the kids asking for help from an adult when they couldn't manage one of the nutcrackers.

And then, after dinner, a very magical part of the evening: Uncle Mistletoe! Uncle Mistletoe was Santa's assistant, maybe 8 or 10 inches tall, with a Dickensian outfit. He flew around on his little wings on Christmas Eve, knocking on the windows of children's homes and peering in with his cheery face to see if the children were being good.

Photo courtesy of my older brother;
Uncle Mistletoe spends his days off with him.

As soon as dinner was over, we started listening for Uncle Mistletoe's knock on the windows to let us know he had arrived. We stood by this window, then that one, looking out into the darkened yard, trying to spot him. There were always a few false alarms: "Did you hear that? I think he's at the other window!" And we ran to that window. But no, he wasn't there. And then: knocking on the window! And back we ran to the first window, this time to see Uncle Mistletoe with his smile, his top hat, his wings, and his little mittened hands, peeking in from the side of the window. And then he was gone, and we waited, listening, for another knock. "He's over there!" We rushed to another window, and there he was! Waving his little hands at us, shaking and nodding his head, and always, always, smiling. Back and forth he flew outside our house, from one window to another and then another and back again. Until finally...he was gone. He had other children to visit, so he had to leave us.

Turns out Uncle Mistletoe needed help on those Christmas Eves from my dad or my uncle, who helped him fly from window to window outside the house in the pitch dark. The year that my uncle lost his footing, fell into one of the window wells, and bloodied his head went completely unnoticed by all us kids.

After that excitement my mom's cousin played Christmas carols on the piano, and we gathered around and sang, some voices on key, some voices harmonizing, and some voices wandering all over the place, looking for the right note.

When the older cousins got to high school age and got bored waiting around for the evening to end, they would organize the younger kids and put on a skit. One year it was The Night Before Christmas. Painfully bad. But it passed the time.

Soon after that, the party broke up, the guests went home, and we got ready for bed, because everyone knows that Santa won't come unless you are asleep! My mom organized the milk and cookies for Santa, which we left on the coffee table in the living room, near the tree and the fireplace, so there would be no chance of Santa missing them. We hung our stockings by the fireplace on little cup hooks my dad had screwed into the mantle. And then, upstairs to bed. We each made sure that our slippers were in our closets, because slippers were the clue Santa used to let us know which unwrapped gift was ours: while we slept, he took one slipper of each child and placed it next to that child's gift under the tree. He also filled our stockings and moved all the gifts that had been wrapped and hidden by our parents (and as we got older, by us, too) to the living room and spread them around the Christmas tree.

It was always hard to go to sleep that night - I shared a room with my older sister, and I remember whispering with her in the dark, speculating about Santa, and if we would hear the sleigh bells or the reindeer when they landed on the roof. The excitement of that magical feeling, knowing that Santa was coming (but not until we were asleep!), and that we would have a wonderful Christmas Day when we woke up.

We were, and are still, a very lucky and blessed family. Loving parents, a comfortable home, a safe community to live in, enough to eat. It was a wonderful childhood. Santa was just icing on the cake of our lives.

This recollection is dedicated with gratitude and love to my parents and my siblings, who helped remind me of some things I'd forgotten.

Design by Squirrel

2011-12-22T06:00:00.006-06:00

I glanced out the window of my study,

which overlooks the back yard.

Hmmm.

What's that orange thing in the pine tree?

Is it a big piece of orange peel,
blown there by the wind?

Or pulled out of the compost pile by a critter?

Let me go out in the backyard for a closer look.

It seems awfully big for orange peel.
And awfully high - higher than the clothes line - to have blown there.

Let me hold the camera over my head
and see if I can get a picture of it.

*
*
*
*
*
*

D'oh!

A mini pumpkin from our autumn centerpiece,
relegated to the compost pile
after Thanksgiving.

I think I'll leave it there in the tree.
It amuses me to think of the process
some squirrel went through to place it there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And, even though Penny has suspended Reasons to be Cheerful until the new year, it's good for my mental attitude to count my blessings. So, before I get out of the habit, here are my three for this week:

G continues to be his mostly upbeat, cooperative self.
It's been 4 months since that mood shift happened,
and I'm still saying "Thank You" every day.

Saturday I went into the city with a friend and saw the Macy's windows
(not as good as the old Marshall Field's windows, but still fun),
walked around the Chicago Cultural Center
admiring the restored Tiffany dome
and all the incredible mosaic,
and saw Lightscapes, a new feature on State Street.
I had forgotten to take my camera, but this is better.

And last, our teacher at BodyPump™ class last night
offered to teach the class Saturday morning,
even though the Y has cancelled all classes from the 24th until January 2nd.
Lots of us said we would be there if she would lead us.
Isn't that nice of her?

Winter Solstice

2011-12-21T06:00:00.001-06:00

Today's the day.

For me, winter solstice is not just the shortest day of the year; it's also one of my favorite books. I read this Rosamunde Pilcher novel almost every year, and no matter what else is going on in my life, I can escape to the world of her beautiful descriptions of people, landscapes, and interiors. It's such a comforting, satisfying story: the really nice people find happiness.

Wishing you a happy shortest day of the year, all you Northern Hemisphere people!

Reasons to be Cheerful

2011-12-16T06:00:00.002-06:00

Penny has a very cute story as part of her weekly "Reasons to be Cheerful" post this week; go take a look, and also check out the other links to some cheerfulness.

One of the things I love about this time of year is all the lights and decorations on the homes.

A couple of nights ago, I decided to see if I could capture some of it for you while Oscar and I were on a walk.

I love catching a glimpse of the lighted Christmas tree through the windows, too. This neighbor has a tree on their front porch. They can see our lighted backyard pine tree from their kitchen window, and some years she delivers a cheese ball she has made as a thank you for the view from her window. Isn't that nice?

These people are saving money on electricity: LED lights. It looks more cheerful when someone's home and there are house lights on, too.

This is one of my favorite houses along our walk, winter or summer. Their red and white lights on their porch garland remind me of strings of popcorn and cranberries.

My camera doesn't do really well in low light (though maybe if I found and read the owners manual, I might find some tips), but still, seeing these images pleases me. One of the challenges of taking pictures while walking Oscar is...Oscar. He isn't at all interested in admiring the lights, as he's too busy finding delicious smells to sniff or barking and running after squirrels. And because I am not a good trainer, he pulls on the leash.

Trying to get you a better picture of that porch garland ...

Oops! With just a little jostling from Oscar, it's now a bit impressionistic.

Oh! Now we're into the realm of the abstract! There must have been a squirrel.

My next reason to be cheerful is because a friend of ours is coming for lunch today.

We met her when G was in a research project for people with early stage memory loss, which included cognitive therapy in small groups; she was his teacher, and she was wonderfully patient, caring, and cheerful with G and the other couple of men who were part of his twice-weekly class.

We're going to have cookies for dessert.

Last for this week: our weekly vegetable box, with butternut squash, grey kaboka squash, red beets, golden beets, celeriac, red potatoes, popcorn, dried cayenne peppers, cranberries, and apples. The downside: this is the last week for the season, so we won't get another box until April. But the upside: we will get another box in April!

I hope you are having a good week, with reasons of your own to be cheerful and thankful. As the poet Max Ehrmann said in his famous (but often unattributed) prose poem "Desiderata":

"And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Remembered Joy - Trimming the tree

2011-12-13T23:58:00.000-06:00

The five kids on Christmas morning

Taking a page from Mrs Micawber's Advent series on favorite Christmas memories or traditions...

I decorated our Christmas tree Sunday afternoon, while G looked on from his seat on the couch, and it made me think about our tree trimming traditions growing up.

Going to the tree lot as a family to choose a tree was an important part of the tradition. While my dad would hold a tree upright for us to approve, we would walk around it, passing judgment. Too skinny. Big bald spot on that side. Not enough branches at the bottom. No good point at the top. At last one tree would make the grade and be lashed onto the top of the station wagon for the trip home.

We used colored lights and spent a lot of time fussing with the strings to get all the bulbs to light, for if one was loose, the whole string went out.

Some of our ornaments were from my dad's tree when he was a boy, some from his parents' trees when they were young. (Nothing from my mom's side? Apparently not.) Others were school projects, home made treasures, souvenirs from travels. As each ornament was lifted from the box, we talked over where it came from, the occasion it marked, or to whom it belonged.

And as I lifted each ornament from the box on Sunday,
I reminded G of where it came from or the occasion it marked.

One from my childhood.

As is this, a gift from a Brownie troop party.

About 4 inches tall, made by my older sister for me,
she's a mini version of a favorite doll Carlie had as a child.

Knit by my mom.

Purchased on a business trip to Australia.
The back side of this little guy is just as funny.

See?

From a business trip to Taiwan.

From G, our first Christmas together.

A 'Maui angel' from our honeymoon.

Cinnamon stick Santa made by my sister-in-law, K.

He is still adorable.

From my parents to G
when he bought himself a used speedboat.

Quincy, Oscar's predecessor.

I think it's time to get a picture of Oscar on our tree, too.

By special request

2011-12-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

Marigold and Mrs. Micawber
both asked for pictures of the wreath my dad made
(with bow by my mom)

and the complimentary
freshwater pearl and white topaz earrings
from my Cheerfulness post.

(Funny they didn't want to see the replacement headlight, too.)

First snow

2011-12-09T15:36:00.006-06:00

We had our first snow of the season overnight.

Very light, but enough to record the movements
of some little creatures.
Squirrels, rabbits...

...and my favorite, a hopping bird.

Oscar helped me look.

Transformed

2011-12-07T06:00:00.003-06:00

We've been using cloth napkins at all our meals for three or four years, but I realized a week or so ago when I got out some red placemats that all our napkins are in shades of blue. Not the effect I was looking for at this time of year.

And now that I'm used to cloth napkins, it's very hard for me to use paper ones and throw them away. I can't believe I've indoctrinated myself so to cloth napkins, but there it is.

I wanted something sturdy, machine washable, and not so delicate it would need ironing. So I bought several packs of assorted dishtowels that had some of the same patterns, making sure to avoid packs that included waffle dishtowels.

I chose two of the patterns and cut each dishtowel in half. Folded the cut edge over and pressed it, then folded it again and pressed it.

Stitched the folded edge down, one napkin after another.

Stopped occasionally to pat Oscar. You're such a good boy!

Folded in half, then in thirds.

So now I have 4 of one pattern and 6 of another. And the rest of the dishtowels I can use as...dishtowels.

And - my Reasons to be Cheerful for this week (besides being happy with my new napkins)!

1. I had a burned out headlamp on the car, mentioned it to Elizabeth, and she told me to buy the replacement lamp at AutoZone and they would install it for free. I didn't even have to act helpless. Saved me time and money.

2. Received an offer in the mail from a jewelry store for a free pair of freshwater pearl and white topaz earrings. Somewhat doubtful that there were no strings attached, I went in anyway, and was given the earrings (and a very mild pitch to buy a matching pendant, which I declined). They are really nice! Not sure how the store got my name - I asked the woman at the counter, and she said, "Past customer?" I don't think so.

3. My dad made a beautiful wreath for our front door with fresh greens from their yard, and my mom made bows for it and for the corners of the windows that are draped in pine garland. The outside of the house looks so well dressed, it pleases me when I look out the windows (because we can see the garland and wreath from inside) and when I pull in the driveway or back out of it.

For more cheer, visit Penny - she's the one hosting this wonderful weekly boost of thankfulness.

Sinterklaas

2011-12-06T13:00:00.000-06:00

Today is the Feast of St. Nicholas, celebrated on the Eve, December 5th, in G's homeland , the Netherlands (as well as in some other countries). In a post last month I mentioned chocoladeletters (chocolate letters), and Mrs. Micawber wanted to know more about them.

Sinterklaas or Sint, as the Saint is affectionately known in Holland, brings a chocolate letter that matches the person's first initial to boys and girls, young and old. He also brings other sweets as well as presents. When we were first married, I asked G's daughter K about the tradition and how it related to Christmas, as here in the U.S., Christmas is gift-giving time. "No," she said, "Sinterklaas is the time for gifts. Christmas is a religious holiday." Oh, right. Imagine that!

We used to be able to buy chocoladeletters from a Dutch shop not too far from us, but they closed, so now I order them from a shop in Holland, Michigan. Who orders them from the real Holland.

G used to be a wonderful artist. He would draw an image of Sint with his bishop's hat and shepherd's crook (mitre and crosier) on each of the white-tissue-paper-wrapped chocoladeletters we were giving to family and friends. When it began to be clear that G wouldn't be able to continue doing the artwork for much longer, I scanned one of his drawings. Now I print the drawing onto a card, so that part of our tradition continues.

A few weeks ago, Sinterklaas arrived in the Netherlands, as he does each year by steamship from his home in Spain. (There's more about the whole tradition, here.) He rides a white horse, and his arrival is a very big deal, broadcast on national television. Families, if they aren't close enough to the arrival city to be there in person, gather around their TV sets and watch the spectacle. K was kind enough to take some pictures (of their television screen!) of the event for us to see. Including her daughter M's share of the Sint-watching treats.

Sint and assistant Piet on the ship

Coming into the harbor

The crowds!

Sint on his white horse.

Sint-watching goodies.

Tromp l'oeil

2011-12-05T06:00:00.005-06:00

We have a big pine tree in the back yard.

It used to be little.

For Christmas, we would twine it with white lights.

As it got bigger,
it required employment of a telescoping pole
to drape the lights at the top.

And then a step ladder plus the telescoping pole.

Then one year I decided
(because by then I was doing this on my own)
the tree had gotten too big for me to continue the tradition.

The back yard looked so dark.
It made me sad.

* * *

The next year, a lightening bolt idea.

Since then, it's all been easy.

Susan Branch says putting lights outside your home is a gift to your neighbors.
This tree is a gift to me, too!

Edited to add: Linked to Thrifty Household's Making Winter blog hop!

Anniversary

2011-12-03T22:31:00.004-06:00

Today is our wedding anniversary.

When I woke G this morning,
I told him what day it was and got a smile.

It was a lovely day for me:
I drove my mom to my niece's new apartment,
and we spent several hours with her and my sister-in-law
and my sister-in-law's sister-in-law,
having a delicious lunch,
admiring my niece's new place,
and trading news.

G stayed home with Elizabeth,
which was a much better prospect for him.
A third floor walk-up would be testing the limits of his endurance.

After I got home and Elizabeth left, I fixed a special dinner,
and after dinner, I asked G what he would like to do.

Do you want to watch the wedding video?

How long is it?

I don't remember - maybe an hour?

Maybe not.

So we looked at our wedding album,
commented on how we looked,
how little the nieces and nephews were,
on how many members of the choir were still around,
and what a fun day it was.

When I tucked G into bed this evening,
I told him that we would end the day as we began it,
by remembering that it was our anniversary.
And I got another smile.

Anticipation

2011-12-01T12:04:00.001-06:00

Mrs Micawber has suggested we use Advent to look back at favorite memories from this time of year. She has a wonderful story about her grandfather, his northern California farm, and the important role he played in her childhood Christmases.

When we were kids, my grandmother provided us with an Advent calendar each year. The five of us took turns finding and opening the little windows. It was always exciting to search for the next number and then to see what tiny picture waited behind the window. Those calendars had 25 windows, one for each day of December (not exactly Advent, but close). Modern ones now have 24. Maybe everyone is too busy on the 25th to care about the last window? Who knows.

When I was in high school, I sewed a felt Advent calendar wall hanging. I don't remember where the idea came from - maybe something my mom had seen. It has a green felt Christmas tree and 24 red felt pockets (because that's what fit neatly in three rows of eight, and I wasn't creative enough to add a 25th pocket) which I filled with tiny toys and trinkets. Each one fastens to the Christmas tree with a little safety pin, so over the 24 days, the tree is decorated. A few years ago my mom gave the calendar to my niece Sarah for her little boys, and they are carrying on the tradition. I asked her to send me a picture (quick!) to include in this post, so she got it out of the box it has been stored in for a year - it's a bit wrinkled. And, of course, undecorated, since it's only the first of December.

The year our courtship began, I was anticipating G coming from the Netherlands for a Christmas visit. I found this small, greeting card sized Advent calendar, bought two, and sent him one so we could both count down the days until we were together again. Bears baking Christmas cookies - oh, so cute. Whimsical and humorous. Lots of adorable mousies hiding in plain sight or inside of drawers (which are only discovered when that day's door is opened).

Later I framed mine, and I bring it out each year at the beginning of Advent. I love looking at the tiny details in the picture and in each window. And remembering that time of great anticipation.

The artist had a sense of humor - behind one door, next to the baby bear, is a pacifier

Since we married, I've sent Advent calendars to G's two daughters and their families each year. Their kids are older now, and I've asked if they still want me to continue the tradition, and the answer is Yes! The calendars for next year are already waiting.

But nothing beats that tiny calendar that marked our courtship.

Lunch with old friends

2011-11-27T22:28:00.006-06:00

They're not really old friends.
But they feel like old friends.
They are two graduate students in Occupational Therapy
who worked with G at our house over a six month period,
from October last year to early April
when he became ill and was hospitalized.

We hadn't seen them since then but have stayed in touch,
so I invited them to come for lunch today,
after they finished the last of their graduate work
and before they start their new jobs.

It was great to get caught up
and celebrate the next chapter of their lives.

Their future patients will be in very good hands.

Fill in the blank

2011-11-26T06:00:00.002-06:00

I saw this sign on my way to work.

Patience Please.
Student Driver.

Hmmm...maybe I should get myself one of those. Not that I'm a student driver, but asking others on the road for patience might be a good thing.

Like:

Patience Please
Directionally Challenged

What would yours read?

Saved, again

2011-11-25T06:00:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving morning G awoke and was ready to get up

just as I was about to get into the shower.
It was one of the few mornings
I wanted him to stay in bed a little longer.

What to do, what to do
to entice him to stay in bed?

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Procure one warm dog.
Place in arms.
Listen for contented sigh.

(And, check this out: Emma at Silverpebble is sponsoring a wonderful giveaway.)

Thankful

2011-11-24T00:01:00.001-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving Day, and I have a lot to be thankful for -
or as Penny says, be cheerful about.

This week my younger brother and his wife and three sons
drove north from New Orleans (about a 15 hour trek)
to visit my parents and the rest of the Chicago area family.
We live so far from each other,
visits like these are very precious.

My Plethora of Plans
(dinner guests 3 times in 4 days,
something that was totally out of the question for several years
because of G's moods)
were fun to plan, G enjoyed them,
and I think our guests did, too.
The first night was an omnivore menu,
the second night vegetarian,
the third night vegan.
(Do you see a pattern here?
If we had had one more dinner party,
it would have had to be Raw.)

In keeping with the origins of Thanksgiving,
I'm thankful for the farmer

who provides us with our weekly box of vegetables.

Our house is the host site for about 15 families, who come each week to pick up their box of vegetables and eggs from our garage. Normally the boxes are neatly closed. But not this time. The latest delivery included huge squash - these are called pink banana squash. Ours was over 12 lbs! The farmer's instructions said to par-bake it to make it easier to cut open.
Now to find an oven that size.

Metallic taste disturbance

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

A mystery has been solved.

In July, during our family vacation week in Wisconsin, I suddenly had a strong metallic taste in my mouth. It was so strong that it concerned me, and I went to a clinic to find out what might be going on. The nurse practitioner kept asking me if I had a sour taste in my mouth. No, I said, not sour. Metallic.

She examined my mouth, could see nothing amiss, so suggested it was nothing to be worried about. The metallic taste finally went away after about a month.

Then, last Friday, I got it again. And this time I remembered a warning label I'd seen (and ignored) on the bag of pine nuts I used in a butternut squash and leek lasagne we had for dinner Thursday night.

Pine nuts from Trader Joe's,
product of Korea, Russia, and Viet Nam

And...the bag has been stored in my freezer since mid-July, when I used the first part of it to make pesto sauce to take to our family vacation week. I hadn't noticed the warning label when I opened the bag in July.

Metallogeusia is what I am experiencing. I've never had this problem before now (and July), and I've eaten pine nuts in the past. Luckily, no one else in my family had the problem when I did in July - and everyone ate the pesto sauce.

I also found this news story, from ABC News in July 2010, which says there is an upsurge in cases, and the FDA is investigating and wants the public to report any occurrences.

Hello, FDA?

Saved by the dog

2011-11-20T06:00:00.001-06:00

Our caregiver arrived yesterday morning, set her bags inside the front door, and proceeded to greet us, which included pats and love for Oscar. He was very interested in one of her bags, but then was distracted by something else and left the bags alone.

A little while later, I saw Oscar trotting towards me with a slice of wheat bread in his mouth. Eeek. Behind him on the floor near one of Elizabeth's bags was an open plastic bag with another slice of bread still in it.

I took the slice of bread from him, apologized to Elizabeth about Oscar purloining her lunch makings, and was about to throw the bread away when Elizabeth suggested putting it out for the birds. I went out the back door, started breaking up the bread to toss in the garden, when I saw...

MOLD!

Elizabeth looked at the remaining slice. Also moldy. "I just bought this bread!" She then called her home and told her daughter, "Find something else to eat for lunch today."

That's our good boy.

OK, so it's not exactly a "rescuing Timmy from the well" story.

More Reasons to Be Cheerful

2011-11-17T06:00:00.007-06:00

Continuing PlanetPenny's focus on cheer,
I'm happy to share my three for this week:

One: G is still upbeat, which is going on 3 months now. It makes such a difference in our lives. Like day and night.

Sunday the weather was mild, though windy, and we used the borrowed wheelchair to go for a short walk. That G is willing to venture out for something other than getting into the car to go to appointments is rather a new trend.

Standing in our neighbor's driveway;
picture taken by Elizabeth, one of our caregivers.

Two, we still have some color in the garden.

Aster

Feverfew

Sedum

Brilliant spring-green moss.

Oak leaf hydrangea

And three: I have finished the shopping, wrapping, and packing for the family we are sponsoring this year in Cathedral Shelter's Christmas Basket program. It's nice to have this done a few weeks ahead of schedule. The rest of my Christmas shopping is...in progress. Sort of.

Cathedral Shelter is serving about 1800 families this year in the Christmas Basket program - and there are still families waiting to be sponsored, if you are in the Chicago area and looking for a great way to contribute. Cathedral Shelter cares for some of the most vulnerable people in society. They do phenomenal work.

If the wrapping looks a little rumpled,
it's because I decided to use thrifted fabric
as reusable wraps.
These are pillow cases.

Need more cheer? Go check out some of the other links on Penny's blog.
And you have to see the mouse choir Penny created.
Adorable.

A plethora of plans

2011-11-16T10:10:00.002-06:00

Have just made plans to have a friend (hi, JJ!) over for dinner Friday night, which means we are having company for dinner three times over the next six days.

I'm so excited - this has not been the normal routine for us in the last two years. G's continued good mood makes this possible.

A day out

2011-11-13T06:00:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning I drove to meet my friend C,
who lives in the suburbs near the Blue Line,
the el train that runs into the city.
We walked from her apartment
over to the town's business district,
and wandered in and out of the shops.
Spied a sign for cupcakes in the bakery window,
so that sealed our next stop.
The bakery has a few small tables,
so we sat and ate our cupcakes
and drank coffee and talked.

Then we continued wandering,
until it got late enough that our plan to have lunch
got amended to picking up some Thai egg rolls to go.
I had a date in the city and didn't want to be late.
Bag of egg rolls in hand,
I boarded the eastbound train.

Lunch on the el, where, I learned, eating is prohibited.
Oops.

It was beautiful on Saturday -
mild and some sun -
and the walk to my friends' apartment
was easy and fun.
I don't get into the city much,
so it always feels like an adventure.

When I came out of the el stop
I was at the Daley Plaza, where they were setting up
for the annual Christkindlmarket.

Daley Plaza is home to our Picasso,
which nicely framed a Christmas tree.

Walked through the Theatre District
(our overseas family love to take pictures of this -
leaves no doubt to friends at home
about where they've been)

Passed the iconic ~~Marshall Field's~~ Macy's clock.

The Macy's windows are in the process of being decorated
for Christmas. How thoughtful to include me.

There are still beautiful colors.

And my destination: Aqua.
I had first seen this building
on the Chicago Architecture Foundation
River tour two years ago,
and found it fascinating.
The architect is Jeanne Gang,
who recently won the MacArthur genius grant.
The building is just north of Millennium Park
and has wonderful views.
My friends are living there
while they are between houses.
It's their first time living downtown,
and they are loving it.
It was so much fun to hear about
all the different things they've done
since they moved there in July.
(I took a cute picture of them,
but there is no way to crop it
and leave it looking like anything
except feet and grass or top of heads and buildings.
You'll just have to trust me on this.)

Then it was time to head back,
to be home before the caregiver had to leave.

There was a busker with a beautiful voice
at the Washington street stop.

I'm not good at directions
so signs like this make me happy.

Back home just before 5pm,
in time to see a beautiful sunset
in the park by our house.

Deshabille

2011-11-12T06:00:00.001-06:00

She carelessly threw off her golden cloak
and allowed it to fall around her feet,
reveling in her natural glory.

In Thanksgiving

2011-11-11T11:00:00.005-06:00

My grandfather, age 17, in 1917

In recognition on this Veterans Day for all who have served or are serving in the military. In my family: my maternal grandfather (WWI), maternal great-uncle (WWII, killed in action), my dad (WWII), paternal uncle (WWII), brother-in-law (Navy, but fortunately never had to serve in battle, though they did have some dangerous times in the North Sea on a carrier), and G (Dutch navy, before I was born - also never had to serve in battle). I pray for the time that this day of recognition will be able to focus solely on remembering veterans of past wars because we will have achieved the other focus of Veterans Day, "the dedication to the cause of world peace."

Posted on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

Reasons to be Cheerful

2011-11-11T06:38:00.008-06:00

PlanetPenny has launched a weekly "Reasons to be Cheerful" theme now that the time change darkens our days earlier. I think counting blessings is an excellent idea, so here are three for me:

The ever-present thankfulness for my health and family, including this sweet guy, our Oscar. He came to live with us 2 years ago when he was five years old, and he is a source of joy. Just looking at him makes us smile. Here he is waiting for us at the back door, being careful, of course, not to get too close to the edge. He's afraid of stairs.

The gorgeous autumn colors that continue to delight. This year it feels like the color show has gone on so much longer than other years. Or maybe I'm just appreciating it more. This tree is next to the railroad tracks in our village, and while I waited for a train to pass, I had time to admire the colors and composition. It looks like a wonderful example of pointillism.

That I remembered to order, in time to pack and ship before Sinterklaas, chocoladeletters for my family. The box arrived yesterday.

If you visit PlanetPenny, you'll see links to other people's Reasons to be Cheerful. Just in case you need a lift.

Edited to add: I forgot to say that I learned of PlanetPenny through Mrs. Micawber, who has some beautiful pictures on her site. And fresh snow!

Heard on the stairs

2011-11-10T06:00:00.002-06:00

We're headed upstairs to bed.
The new handrails are such a help.
But sometimes there is still coaching required.

Me: Move your hands farther up the handrails before you step up.
G:
Me: Move your hands farther up the handrails before you step up.
G:
Me: At least move your left hand farther up, to the top of the handrail.
G:
Me: Let me guide your hand.
Standing on the stair below him, I try to lift his left hand off the handrail to move it.
G: You're getting mad.
Me: No I'm not.
G: You're getting mad.
Me: No, I'm not.
G: You're getting mad. I can smell it.
Me:

Ode on Our Caregivers

2011-11-08T11:58:00.008-06:00

Fair Ones, Young Ones, Old Ones, Passable Ones
Who come into our home to care for us,
Who teach us with their patience, serenity, grace,
Some of whom have come to our shores from shores far away,
Have left their loved ones to care for my loved one,
Whose good humor reigns, or sometimes doesn’t,
Who deal with things pleasant and unpleasant
And with people pleasant and unpleasant:
What brings you to this work?
What other jobs did you consider, before selecting this?

Our experience with people like you is so recent,
Just six months of our journey has been spent in your company.
I had heard of your sort, in good tones and bad,
From others with knowledge and experience.
And from those tales, told around the support group table,
I can only conclude: We have been blessed.
Our encounters have been mostly good, occasionally comical,
And sometimes, oh sometimes, heartrendingly tender.
Why do we deserve your care, your concern?
What have we done to reap the benefit of your company?

When you came to our door for the first time, did you feel a tremor?
Did anxiety play havoc with your pulse?
Or did you come in confidence, knowing that you have the skill and patience
To weather whatever storm you may encounter with us?
Some of you have come with a warm heart, first concerned with your charge,
Yet with room in your heart also for the spouse.
And so you say, “What else can I do to help?” and “Would you like me to…”
And the blank is filled in with many and mundane tasks that normally fall to the wife.
Laundry, dishes, dusting, cleaning spots from carpet, plumping pillows.
Sometimes the mistress says yes, sometimes no. But always gratefully.

Some of you have come with a focus on the job, not the person;
Have interrupted when I attempt to introduce ourselves
To give you an idea of who we are, of what backgrounds we have
In order to give you a frame of reference in which to work.
But you have interrupted with questions about tasks.
That list will come in a moment; may I help you understand us, first? No?
Happily for all concerned, after a few evenings with us,
Other circumstances prevented you from coming back,
And we can hope that your next situation was a better fit for you
And for the person under your care.

O Caregiver Agency! What a valuable service you provide,
And yet, how much angst you have in your power to create!
Last minute changes, communicated moments before the doorbell rings,
That our familiar caregiver won’t be there, and instead, a stranger.
And a seeming reluctance to come out with the real reasons behind the changes,
Which we inadvertently find out from the unwitting caregiver,
Who explains that the other person has a new job (isn’t sick).
Unexplained switches in schedules, which bewilder us as well as the caregiver.
And still, we are grateful for your service, flawed as it sometimes is,
For it has brought us one of the most special people we know.

Our dearest friend, small and gentle, wise and witty,
You are a precious gift in our lives.
You inspire the mistress with your patience, your willingness to say to G,
“I’m sorry,” when it wasn’t your fault but his.
Noted! The mistress attempts to emulate.
You left your family and went far away to work on a kibbutz in Israel
To provide the money for university tuition for your children
When earning enough for them was not possible in your homeland.
Because when you were university age, there was not enough for you to reach your dream.
“What would you have studied,” I ask. “Chemistry, perhaps,” you reply.

We talk, sometimes, about choices and alternatives.
Decisions made, good and bad, and consequences, good and bad.
The law of unintended consequences was on our minds last night.
The university education you provided your children has not only enriched their lives,
It has also enriched the lives of so many more.
Because some of your children chose careers in healthcare
And emigrated to this land, to nurse the sick in hospitals,
Or to provide therapy to those recovering from accident and illness.
The ripples made when you dropped your stones into the water
Continue to spread and spread, reaching out with goodness to so many.

Watching the clock

2011-11-06T06:00:00.003-06:00

Today I'm scheduled to pick up an older man (100)
and his much younger girlfriend
(I'm told she's about 80)
to drive them to church.

To do this for the first time
on the weekend daylight saving time ends
is a quadruple threat:

Will I get the time right?

Will they get the time right?

Will our caregiver for Sunday morning
get the time right?

And will her ride (she has no car)
get the time right?

The worst that can happen (I think)
is we all show up an hour early.
That's not so bad.

Spiked hair

2011-11-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

Oscar did something last time we were at the cottage

that he has never, ever,
in the two plus years he's lived with us,
done before:

Roll in something yucky.

I had no idea he was rolling with any purpose
other than scratching his back.
He was clearly enjoying himself.

I always am reminded,
when he rolls on his back and his white belly fur flies around,
of surf crashing onto a beach.

But then I could see...

he spiked his hair with it.

*sigh*

He's clean now.

Currents

2011-11-03T06:00:00.007-05:00

The leaves tumble and twirl.

A sudden gust whirls them into spirals.

Eddies send them end over end;
brittle, they skitter on pavement.

A momentary pause before the next onslaught.

Tossed in the air,
released from their summer quarters,
at the mercy of each draft,

their dance reveals the invisible.

Edited to add: Emma from silverpebble is having a making winter bloghop.
Really fun to see what people are doing.

Modern fossils

2011-11-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

Seen while walking Oscar yesterday.

We have walked over it hundreds of times,
and I've never noticed it before.

When someone has written their name or initials
in fresh concrete in a new sidewalk,
I find it less than appealing.

But this, I find charming.

And it matches one in front of our house
that always delights me.

Greener Halloween

2011-10-31T16:14:00.003-05:00

Treat bowl designed and produced by my sister Amy.

I heard a story on the radio this morning,
suggesting that Trick-or-Treaters try to be more ecologically responsible.
Use reusable pillow cases instead of disposable plastic or paper bags
to collect treats.
Don't litter the streets with discarded candy wrappers.
Yadda yadda yadda.

So I'm feeling quite self-righteous in my choice of treats.

Each will be dropped into the trick-or-treater's pillow case / plastic pumpkin / grocery bag / sans wrapper. Naked. Nothing to throw away.

As well, there will be no discussions of what kind of sugar,
how much farm subsidy it got,
whether the chocolate was fair trade,
types of nut allergies,
or how quickly the treat will rot one's teeth.

Vegan, vegetarian, raw foodist; all will be satisfied.

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

The naked truth: I can't be trusted with bags of candy on hand.
So, if those kids want a treat, it will have to be money.

Flowers for Carlie

2011-10-27T06:00:00.002-05:00

Chrysanthemum koreanum ‘Sheffield Pink’, aka Dendranthema morifolium*
Feverfew - Chrysanthemum parthenium
Perovskia atriplicifolia, Russian sage

Today is my sister Carlie's birthday.

I'm in the midst of family visitors,
so her card will arrive late.

I'm so lucky to have her for my sister.
She is smart, funny, kind, tolerant, beautiful,
and oh-so-talented.

Love you, Car.

*Dug up from my neighbor’s garden last fall, planted in mine,
then totally forgotten until 2 weeks ago when the first blooms opened.
They are a beautiful apricot pink and, if they do as well for me as when in my neighbor’s garden,
should bloom through the first frosts.
I'm so happy with these.

Landed!

2011-10-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

K and M, G's older daughter and youngest granddaughter,
arrived Saturday from Amsterdam.

We are having a WONDERFUL time.

Allium

2011-10-21T06:00:00.008-05:00

Labor Day weekend Arleen, who is our "going to the cottage" caregiver, brought us a plastic grocery bag full of onions from her garden. Or at least that's what she said they were. She had planted them in the spring and now had many, many more than they could use, so she thought we might be able to use them. Or, plant them, she said.

What I could see sticking out of the bag looked like very robust green onions - so I said, sure, we'll take them along with us.

When we got to the cottage and were preparing dinner, I opened the bag, expecting to see bulb onions. But - they were shallots! Shallots are expensive at the grocery store. And Arleen was growing them in her garden? And giving them away?

Evidently shallots produce a flower head that then produces lots of little bulblets, and those can be planted. She said we could also replant the shallots she pulled from her garden. She had some of the flower heads with her as well as the shallot plants.

So - now we have shallots planted at the cottage.

And the next time Arleen came, she brought more, so we have them planted at our house.

As does my sister and my nephew.

Who knew shallots were so easy?

Though I probably should wait to see if they survive before I make that statement.

Our out of town guests (out of country, actually) arrive tomorrow. G's older daughter K and her daughter M are coming to visit for almost a week!

Adapt, adapt, adapt

2011-10-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

from the back door to the kitchen

Life with a degenerative disease poses some interesting problems. G's journey with dementia has significantly affected his mobility, and the continuing damage to his brain means he needs more and more help moving.

His first walker came after some surgery five years ago; the hospital sent it home with him. It was used once and put in the closet for a few years.

Then a couple of years ago we got an additional walker, this with a fold-down seat, because his endurance had begun to wane. If we were walking somewhere and he got tired, it gave him someplace to sit if there was nothing else available.

Then he needed a walker for most of his walking, though around the house he would manage to get around holding onto furniture or placing his hands on the walls. The first walker stayed upstairs and the newer one on the first floor. But frequently G would end up at the opposite side of the house from wherever the walker was, because he had walked without it from one place to another.

At the beginning of 2010 G began having trouble standing up from the couch without assistance, so I found risers to add three inches to the couch. That fixed that problem, at least for a while.

In April of last year he was stricken with an unidentified and unfriendly virus which put him in the hospital and then 4 weeks in a rehab facility. He lost a lot of his previous walking ability, so I had small grab bars installed in a couple of spots around the house, and that proved sufficient.

from the kitchen to the second floor landing

A year ago he began to have problems getting out of bed. More specifically, sitting up in bed so he could swing his legs over the side and stand up. I found a small support bar that installed easily on his side of the bed, and that worked well for a while, although now he needs help (usually from me) to sit up, as the bar is not quite enough.

Over the winter we remodeled the first floor, replacing a tiny under-the-stairs powder room (originally a closet before we turned it into a powder room in 1989, it's now a closet again) with a full, handicap-accessible bathroom and converting a little-used den into a potential bedroom. The bathroom has been well used, the bedroom not yet. If we never have to use the first floor bedroom (it's only big enough for one so would mean a big change in what normal life is), that will be fine with me.

landing prior to the next 10 steps to the second floor

In April, when the restlessness started, G had such a compulsion to move that nothing would stop him. He got out of bed without assistance, off the couch, out of the recliner - all things he had not been able to do (most of the time) without help. He still asked for help, but he didn't actually need it. He was miserable, but at least I knew he had the strength to do some of the things that challenged him before.

June and July were much calmer due to higher doses of the anti-anxiety med, but G started having more and more trouble walking. Strength was not the problem; it was his brain not telling his feet to move. It required many effective but irritating prompts like "move your left foot - your left foot - YOUR LEFT FOOT!" I finally decided it was time to have a transport chair for when G is tired. And that has helped a LOT. He still uses the walkers but the transport chair is always an option.

Now the latest. Going up and down the stairs has gotten more difficult. And because G is going to an adult day program three times a week, he is going up and down our short flight of stairs to the back door more often than he used to. And still going upstairs to bed at night, and downstairs again in the morning.

We already had a handrail on one side of the stairs to the back door and up to the second floor. A week ago we had a second set of handrails installed on the other side, as well as handrails in the upstairs hallway.

The horizontal bar just inside the back door is awesome

This horizontal bar is used when G gets in or out of the transport chair
on his way either out the door or up to bed.
When it's up to bed, then it's also a great help to starting up the stairs.

And then he can reach the small white grab bar,
and then the horizontal bars on the landing.

The home stretch.
Not pictured - more horizontal bars in the second floor hall,
leading to our bedroom.
And heading down all these stairs is also much easier.

Much, much better. He is pleased. I am pleased.

Wedding day

2011-10-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

My parents on their wedding day

October 18, 1947.

Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!

xxoo

Autumn reunion

2011-10-17T06:00:00.004-05:00

We had dinner last night with a friend of ours from Belgium. She works for the same company that both G and I did. G knew her when he worked in the company's Belgian office, and I got to know her when we started work on a global initiative in the 1990's.

She is a dear person, and we would see her during our trips to the Netherlands to see family and friends. But we haven't been back in more than 4 years, and we missed seeing her our last trip.

She was here in the States for a meeting and was staying about 10 minutes from our house, so getting her to come to dinner was about as easy as it could be. We picked her up at her hotel and brought her to our house. The earlier rain had blown away, and the late afternoon sun was brilliant (shining through our clean windows!). I was so, so happy to see her.

We talked and talked, and when I had to tend to dinner in the kitchen, she and G would switch to Dutch/Flemish and reminisce about old times and old friends.

I wanted to serve something typically American, so I made Susan Branch's chili from her Autumn cookbook. Green salad, Trader Joe's ciabattini rolls, and homemade applesauce with maple-syrup-sweetened yogurt for dessert.

And guess what our friend brought us?

Sunny days

2011-10-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Saturday I got together for lunch
with friends I made during a research project
for people with early stage memory loss and their caregivers,
and it was so good to see them.
The drive to the city was beautiful.

A tour group on Segways about to cross Jackson on Lake Shore Drive.

And since I got the camera out to take the tour group's picture,
I thought,
"I'll take a few more to show you."

A blurry shot of Navy Pier.
(It's hard to drive, watch the road, and take a picture.
Wait 'til you see Oak Street beach.)

Oak Street beach. (I know, right?)

Out on the horizon, one of the water cribs.

The friend hosting the lunch has a condo with beautiful views.

The north view from her living room.

Looking east

And that?

Is a flying trapeze school.

Then back to suburbia to our parish Pumpkinfest,
to help man (woman) the bake sale table for an hour.

Pumpkins are for sale on the church lawn through the end of October
to raise money for PADS.

Then home to a house with sparkling clean windows.

Because Friday my wonderful mom came for a few hours
to help me wash windows.
Isn't she nice?

Weekend reprise

2011-10-14T11:50:00.034-05:00

Last weekend was another pretty-much perfect couple of days spent at my parents' cottage. G continues to be mostly positive and cheerful, a trend that started mid-August. No idea why, but we appreciate every day of it.

The rest stop where we made our last get-out-and-stretch before the final hour of driving was full of color.

Oscar in the backseat, ready for us to start the last leg of the trip.

My mom, who happened to be at the window as we were pulling in, later told me G was smiling as we drove in the driveway. He greeted my parents so warmly, saying how glad he was to see them, how happy he was to be there. Usually there is more about how stiff and sore he is and activity around getting him out of the car and into the cottage.

After lunch I told G I was going to the orchard to pick up a bushel of apples to make appelmoes (Dutch for applesauce), and did he want to come along. To my surprise, he said yes. He almost never says yes to an outing. Besides being happy that he wanted to go, it meant Arleen, our lovely "going out of town" caregiver, could come, too. She is enthusiastic about nature and plants and gardens, so I was very happy she could be included. (If G doesn't want to go, Arleen doesn't get to go.) We had a transport chair so we could wheel G around the driveway when we got there. The orchard belongs to a family who planted apple trees around their house. They also have beautiful gardens. Lots of monarch butterflies on the asters. Can you see how many are in this picture? At least 4. Click for a bigger view.

After we got home, I asked if G wanted to go for a walk with me and Oscar, and he said yes, another surprise. This is the first time he has said yes to a suggestion of a walk, and we've had the transport chair since mid-August. (And no, I don't think the transport chair is the reason for his lifted spirits, though it does make life easier.)

G and Arleen, coming along the walking path. The big boulders are still in place - see them back there? And that big glare on the left is sun sparkling on the water.

We haven't been bringing the footrests for the chair, because G never wanted to go anywhere in it - we just use the chair when he's tired to go from spot to spot inside the cottage. So he just picks up his feet or shuffles them along as one of us pushes. Which created a snowplow / leafplow. Can you see the path he plowed?

Before dinner we sat on the porch with my parents and got hysterical listening to my mom tell a story about riding with friends who constantly (and annoyingly) call out the gasoline prices of every gas station they pass. She said, "And now your father is doing it!" This made us laugh harder, and I haven't seen G laugh like that in a long, long time. If laughter is good medicine, we all added some months onto our lives.

Arleen had brought a little bouquet of zinnias from her garden, and we added a spray of bittersweet from the edge of the woods.

Saturday was spent making apples into appelmoes.

Wash and cut into pieces. Don't core or peel.

Steam until tender.

Put through, if you are lucky enough to have one,
a 1930's KitchenAid with foodmill attachment.

Fill jars and process in a hot waterbath canner.

Also spent some time hanging laundry. It's something I enjoy, and even nicer when there is something beautiful to look at. The golden trees? Shagbark hickories I learned later...

...after Arleen found some small nuts and we had a discussion about them with my mom.

Checking out the gardens around the yard.

Monkshood (Oscar patiently waiting in background)

Blue gentian

Asters (don't remember what type)

Hydrangea we put in last fall. A bit disappointing on the flowering front.

Wood asters

It was such a warm, beautiful day, that I decided I might go for one last swim for this season. But by the time I was done with the applesauce (about 16 quarts' worth), it was late afternoon and I had come to my senses. (That and my mom saying, "Yes, it's been in the 70's and 80's during the day, but the 50's at night.") So instead I took my glass of wine down to the pier, climbed down the ladder, and cooled my legs in the water (right nippy!) while Oscar stood guard. (A fat lot of help he would be if I fell in.)

Sunday morning my parents, younger sister, and I went on a house walk. Another gorgeous day to see some beautiful homes on the lake and out in the country. The only place I took pictures was in the house where a bedroom for the grandkids had been painted by a local muralist. Is this cool, or what?

Such happy days.

Autumn walk

2011-10-07T06:00:00.002-05:00

We've been having the most glorious, warm, sunny weather this week.
Such a relief after the extended gray and rainy stretch.

When the caregiver arrived at 5,
I asked Oscar if he wanted to go for a walk
and we headed out, leash in one hand, camera in the other,
cellphone in the fanny pack.

80 degrees calls for bare legs and sandals,
which seem incongruous with fallen oak leaves.

The trees that line our street are just beginning their march to gold.

Sedums have lost their summer hot pink and are shifting to claret.

Hydrangeas hedge their bets and show multiple hues in each bloom.

Common geraniums glow in the late afternoon sun.

Asters are airily amethyst.

Kids and dads play baseball in the park.

Oh! A call from my sister.
Can't talk and take pictures at the same time,
so I'll leave you with this,
which was simmering on the stove while we walked and talked:

Chicken soup for supper.

Sam's rainbow

2011-10-03T06:00:00.002-05:00

My friend C, who spent much of the summer preparing a new place to live for herself and her older brother Sam, spent Friday with family and friends, celebrating Sam's life at his funeral and accompanying his body to the cemetery.

In one of life's cruel twists, Sam had collapsed and died while in California participating in a Sports Clinic for disabled vets.

For the last six or so years following Sam's stroke, C has been her brother's primary caregiver and tireless cheerleader, advocate, and seeker of services for him. She had just gotten a new job that requires quite a bit of travel, so she found a new place for them to live that allowed him easy access to public transportation to get to the programs and services that he was involved in, so that he could have as much independence as possible while she was on the road. They had moved into their new place just 3 weeks before his death.

He had worked hard to qualify to go to San Diego. It was where he wanted to be. He had also just qualified to participate in permanent employment through the VA, something that had been beyond his reach until now, and was going to go complete the final step when he got back from San Diego. Life was good, probably the best since his stroke.

The weather on Friday was predicted to be pretty bad - lots of high wind and rain. The sky over Lake Michigan near the church was dramatic with dark storm clouds, the beach covered with crashing waves, but the rain held off until later in the afternoon. I was able to attend the funeral but not the burial. C called me later in the afternoon to tell me how things had gone at the cemetery, and while we were on the phone, it started raining. We talked about how appropriate the weather had been for the funeral, and how good it was that the rain had held off.

While we talked, I walked outside to see if there might be a rainbow, since the rain had come while there was sun shining through breaks in the clouds. Yes! And C could see it from her place, too. I was able to get a picture for her before the rainbow disappeared.

The rainbow felt like a blessing to end a difficult yet wonderful day.

On the coast

2011-09-28T06:00:00.002-05:00

Isn't this gorgeous?

Last week G's older daughter K arranged a day off for herself
and took a day hike along the Zeeland coast,
near her home in the Netherlands.
Her walk was along 16 miles of beach.

She said the weather was beautiful and sent us pictures from her day.

K and her daughter M
are coming to visit us next month.

We can't wait!

Walkin' & Rollin' to End Alzheimer's

2011-09-26T06:00:00.003-05:00

Sunday morning we walked and rolled in the Walk to End Alzheimer's.

G and I participated the first time in 2004
when it was called the Memory Walk,
and his diagnosis of vascular dementia was just 6 months old.
He got a T-shirt.

The next year we were out of town and couldn't attend.

The subsequent years
he either wasn't interested in going with me on the walk,
or wasn't able to handle it.

A few years ago, when he was having difficulty walking
and had begun to use a walker,
I suggested renting a wheelchair so he could go with me.

He wasn't interested.
Perhaps being in a wheelchair didn't fit his self-image.
Or maybe it was the apathy that has been the hallmark
of his journey with the disease.

But now we have a transport chair at home for when he needs it,
so riding in a wheeled chair is not so foreign.

And when I told him a few days ago
that thanks to the generosity of our family and friends,
he and I were currently the top fundraisers for our local walk
and would he like to join me this year,
he said yes.
That he thought it was important that he be there.

I thought it was important, too.

Weather in the low 50's and cloudy,
so we are bundled up in multiple layers for the walk,
G in a borrowed wheelchair.

P.S. It is someone special's birthday today,
but she told me last week she didn't want a fuss made.
So we'll keep it low profile.
Happy Birthday, dear one!

One of the fine ones

2011-09-22T10:30:00.003-05:00

Freshman year, Brown University

Today is my dad's birthday.

His mother would tell people she had "four fine boys."
With no irony.

The wives of the four fine boys loved that phrase,
and we kids grew to love it, too.
There was always a lot of teasing about it.

The four fine boys with their parents, wives, children.
My dad is the tallest one in the back row.
(I'm the deer-in-the-headlights one standing at the right, holding my aunt's hand.)

We think we got very lucky,
being the children of one of the four fine boys.

And, of course, I think we got the finest of the lot.

Happy Birthday, Dadder. We love you.

Good deed

2011-09-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

On the way to pick up G from the day program

I passed a pedestrian crosswalk sign.

It's a new spot for a crosswalk,
so drivers are still getting used to it.

The problem was the sign was turned
so it was easily readable by pedestrians
but invisible to drivers.

I made a slight detour to the police station
to ask someone to fix it.

On the way home, voila. Fixed.

In other news, we have happy bees again.

Can you see the bee inside the unfurling blossom?

Laundry fluttering in the breeze doesn't disturb them.

Oscar's happy, too.

Angry Birds Bees

2011-09-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

About 6pm I was standing at the kitchen sink
and noticed a lot of activity
in the air outside our windows.

Uh oh.

Bees.

Our neighbors have beehives that they started a year ago spring,
but I have not seen angry bees before.
So...are these their bees?
The hives are along our south lot line
but rarely interfere with our lives.

Then I caught sight of our neighbor Chris,
outfitted in his beekeeper suit, hat, veil, and gloves.
Must be their bees I'm seeing buzzing around so angrily.
They were even lighting on our windows.

I called the neighbor's house and found out
the residents of one of the hives
were a little agitated.
So, best not to go out the back door just yet.

The front of the house was safe, though,
so Oscar and I went out for a walk.
While we walked,
I thought about whether I would be able to go to my exercise class,
since the bees were buzzing madly over our driveway
and in front of our garage.
I might have to stay home.

But, no.
By the time Oscar and I returned to the house,
all was quiet in Beeland.

Drat.

Tying the knot

2011-09-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

The wedding invitation with Chicago skyline - the bride & groom love the city.

The daughter of my dear friend (both of whom helped me tear up oak flooring for the house we never built) had her wedding Saturday night.

The wedding program was deep pink.
The bride loves pink. And sparkles.
No sparkles on the wedding program, but her dress met all her expectations:
ruffles, flounces, sparkles.

I didn't take any pictures of the event, but it was so much fun to be there. G went with me to the wedding. His going was a bit of an uncertainty until the morning of - I never know when he's going to decide he's not up to doing something, often after elaborate arrangements have been made. It worked fine, and I was glad he could be there, as he's known the bride since she was a little girl.

Having him go to the reception was too big a gamble - in the city, cocktails starting at 7:30pm, lots of people and noise - so I didn't give him the option of going to that. I had one of our caregivers meet us at the church after the ceremony to ride home with G and the driver & handicapped accessible van I hired. Then my parents and I headed to the city to the wedding reception at the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower.

Security! A first for me for a wedding reception - all the guests had to present photo ids at the security desk in the Willis Tower, which were compared to the guest list.

Then up the the 66th floor - beautiful views of the city at night, to say nothing of the happy bride and groom and their families and friends. I hadn't seen my friend's mom or sisters in years, as they live far away, so that was a special part of the evening for me.

The place cards were mini Chicago White Sox pennants.
Guess who loves the White Sox?
Yes. The bride and groom.

What a joyous occasion. And So. Much. Fun. I was very glad to be able to go.

A response to the boulders

2011-09-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

We all had a wonderful time during the choir retreat last weekend. The group managed to find their way to the cottage despite the closed road.

Along with the schedule of anthems for the first few months of the season, our choir director Charles usually composes a faux Bible verse, written in the style of the King James version, complete with reference to an imaginary book.

When we arrived for choir rehearsal Thursday night, the schedule awaited with this verse (which has been edited to protect the.. er... innocent).

And lo, it came to pass that the [nonprofit entity] laid siege yea even unto the sacred lodge in the Land of the [redacted] Lake, building up ramparts round about it so that the Righteous of [our home town] were thwarted in their attempts to assemble for the sacred gathering during the new season. But the Righteous, knowing that the LORD was on their side, and strengthened by the consuming of the Most Holy Breakfast Sausages of the Silver Creek, did taunt and mock the [nonprofit entity] with mixed nuts, crudité, finely chilled wines, and pre-made Margaritas, which confounded the [nonprofit entity]and threw them even into a panic so that they fell headlong into the [redacted] Lake, and were heard from no more. And seeing that the [nonprofit entity] were thus consumed by the waters, the righteous resumed their sacred work, drank coffee, and were refreshed in the faith.

Inebriations 12:36-39

From the ridiculous to the sublime

2011-09-16T08:00:00.005-05:00

I get a daily news digest of all-things-dementia from the good people at Ageless Design.

Sometimes I find something I can use or feel encouraged about, other times there is nothing of interest for me.

In yesterday's digest ... the bizarre story about televangelist Pat Robertson offering advice on his television show to a man whose wife has Alzheimer's Disease to divorce her rather than just fool around on the side. Such idiotic advice, and why he thought he was qualified to answer, I can't fathom. Followup news stories on the revelation, which include the fact that Mr. Robertson declined additional comment, quote a representative of the Alzheimer's Association who states that divorce is rarely employed by those married to people with dementia. If you want to watch Robertson's entire comment, about two and a half minutes, start at 0:50:42. Prepare to be irritated.

In much more positive news, an electromagnetic brain stimulation system has been developed in Israel and is showing reversal of symptoms for Alzheimer's patients in cognitive skills. It's coupled with simultaneous cognitive training, and the effects, so far, are long lasting. Clinical trials are supposed to start in the US next year. Don't know if G would qualify, as he has vascular dementia rather than Alzheimer's. But I'm putting a call in to his doctor.

Replenish

2011-09-15T08:00:00.002-05:00

Tuesday night when I watered the newest plantings, I depleted all three rain barrels. We've had promise of rain for days, but nothing of any significance, so the rain barrel levels were low when I started filling the watering cans.

Yesterday afternoon when I came home from work, it had just started raining lightly, and the noise from the water filling the rain barrel by the back door was surprisingly loud. I haven't heard the barrels filling before, because when it rains...I stay inside.

Nice to have Mother Nature watering the plants and filling the barrels.

Sometimes less really is more

2011-09-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

The last few weeks, G has had some very groggy mornings and/or inexplicable behavior. So last week I delayed the morning dose of the anti-anxiety med from first thing in the morning to breakfast time, and that helped with some of the behavior problems. When he was put on this med in April because of extreme restlessness, we were told the condition could eventually go away, or it might be a new, permanent (and unwelcome) feature.

Friday I talked to the psychiatrist who had set the dose and schedule and told him I thought G might now be getting more of the drug than he needs, and is this possible? Yes, it's possible. So yesterday I stopped giving him the morning dose. No negative repercussions, and more alertness than in the last few weeks. Same thing today. The psychiatrist said a couple of days will tell if that's OK or not.

We'll stick with this for another week just to be sure and then think about whether one of the other 3 doses can be reduced or eliminated.

(Oh - and the picture has nothing to do with this topic. I just bought these stamps at the post office and really love the way they look. Very serene. Not at all restless. Wait. Maybe there is a connection.)

Reconciliation

2011-09-11T08:00:00.003-05:00

I was attending a conference in Boston when the towers were hit.

That those two flights originated at Logan airport in Boston, where I had just flown in, added a particular horror to an already incomprehensible horror. I knew no one who was hurt or killed, but as with millions of other strangers, felt as though it were happening to people I knew.

Today our church, as part of the morning services, will be praying the Litany of Reconciliation.

No matter what religion or absence of religion we may be, it seems most appropriate that we ask forgiveness, of whatever deity we put our faith in and of all our fellow human beings. All of us have fallen short. There is no corner on that market.

(excerpts from) The Litany of Reconciliation, Coventry Cathedral

The People and Leader pray responsively

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

The hatred which divides nation from nation, race from race, class from class,
Father Forgive.

The covetous desires of people and nations to possess what is not their own,
Father Forgive.

The greed which exploits the work of human hands and lays waste the earth,
Father Forgive.

Our envy of the welfare and happiness of others,
Father Forgive.

Our indifference to the plight of the imprisoned, the homeless, the refugee,
Father Forgive.

The pride which leads us to trust in ourselves and not in God,
Father Forgive. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Amen.

Edited to correct the source.

I ❤ Susan Branch

2011-09-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

It's true. I heart her.

I've been a fan for many years, ever since my cousin Jean served Rainbow Jello at a family party. When we all exclaimed over the jello (really, you have to see it to believe it), Jean brought out the Heart of the Home cookbook, and we were all amazed at the beautiful artwork and hand lettered recipes.

First I bought myself a copy of her original cookbook, and then the Christmas one. Then I found Susan's wall calendars, and as a thank you to my cousin for introducing me to SB, I sent one to Jean for Christmas - and I haven't stopped since. (Except for that one year when there was no calendar. That was a dark year.)

I've enjoyed reading Susan's email newsletter, which is full of beautiful art and wonderful ideas and irrepressible joy.

And now - she has a blog! I can't believe she finds the time to do this, but I am so glad she does. Interesting, entertaining, funny, beautiful, inspiring. I look forward to every post.

Wednesday night I baked Ginger Crisps from the Autumn cookbook, in heart and leaf shapes.

And look what I found when I opened the book:
The book was a gift from one of my other cousins,
and I had forgotten she had it autographed for me.
How could I forget something like that?

Signage

2011-09-09T08:00:00.006-05:00

The non-profit entity that owns most of the land surrounding my parents' cottage (and several dozen other private cottages) recently closed a section of the one-lane road that runs along the lake. Now it's just for pedestrians and bicyclists. That's nice.

Oscar doesn't care about boulders blocking the road

The closing was supposed to start at the east end of my parents' property, so we would still be able to reach our driveway from the west. It's the only way to get to the property other than driving through the neighbors' land behind us to get to ours. Makes sense, right?

Evidently not.
The boulders have been placed just west of our property.
Leaving no legal access.

This is not a closure that will easily be thwarted.

So, for now we take a deep breath and wait, because we feel that we have legal standing and that patience will out to get this odd situation resolved. And in the meantime, to clarify for our visitors which way to turn (through the neighbors' land) to get to our place, we have a sign of our own.

Most of the church choir members will be arriving tonight after dark,

so this is what will greet them:

A large sign with our family name, and below that...

Signage by my older brother and my darling niece.

We know the choir members will feel, as they do every year, right at home.

Galettes R Us

2011-09-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

I seem to be in galette mode lately. Rustic tarts.

Last weekend my assignment was to provide dessert one night
for the group at the cottage.
Seasonal fruit would be nice, and do-ahead would also be nice.

Therefore, Plum Galette, by the oft-mourned Abby Mandel,
who wrote the most wonderful food column
in the Chicago Tribune for many years.

Sliced fruit with a streusel topping in a buttery crust. A la mode.

Drama

2011-09-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning we were on track to leave for the cottage for Labor Day weekend. Arleen, our caregiver, arrived at 8:00am, and I was feeling pretty good about us getting on the road by 8:45. She took over helping G get dressed while I headed downstairs to cook the oatmeal. A bit later I could hear the two of them coming slowly down the stairs, and then, nothing. For some reason, G got stuck on the landing, just 4 stair steps away from being in the kitchen. It took almost 30 minutes to convince him to come down those last stairs so he could have breakfast.

After breakfast we tried to get G to go down the 5 stair steps from the kitchen to the back door so we could head for the car and start our trip. He kept wanting to sit down on the stairs, and nothing we said dissuaded him. He was insistent that he stay there, that he couldn't stand up, that he couldn't move. 45 minutes later, he finally stood up and came down those last stairs and out to the car. All three of us were worn out.

All the while this was going on, I was trying to understand what might be causing this change in behavior. Nothing new/different in meds, in foods, in amount of sleep the night before. And wondering, should I keep pushing him? Is this the right thing to do, or should we abandon the weekend?

When we arrived at the cottage, the first thing he said to my mom was, "I'm glad I'm here." And he enjoyed himself all weekend.

I still expect logic to rule in our house. And then I'm reminded it doesn't.

Colorful

2011-09-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Three colors of sweet bell peppers, peaches, apples, cucumber

From our farmer, an especially colorful assortment this week.

Two kinds of eggplant, potatoes, purple basil

Forgot to photograph the orange cherry tomatoes.
And brown eggs.

The search

2011-09-01T08:00:00.002-05:00

Assemble ingredients

In two weeks we will host the annual choir retreat for our church choir.
It's always fun to plan the menus for that weekend at the cottage
and try to balance some old favorites with something new.

Prepare leeks

This year I decided I wanted a vegetarian entree
for Saturday night's dinner.
I've been looking for recipes that appeal to me
and that I can do part or all ahead of time.

Melt butter

Last week I made a Baked-Eggplant Parmesan
from Martha Stewart as a test run.
Good, but not great.

Add leeks and cook until tender

A Squash & Leek Lasagne from Eating Well looks delicious,
but reader comments point out how labor intensive it is.
Maybe I'll try it sometime when I'm not feeding 20.

Add wine and heavy cream.

Epicurious has a Butternut Squash & Hazelnut Lasagne that looks good.
And a Wild Mushroom Lasagne.
I love mushrooms. But does everyone?

Prepare pastry

Then I remembered a recipe from the Tribune that I made last year.
Leek Galette, from an article by Leah Eskin
(whose writing is always witty,
whether the recipe is something I'm interested in or not).

Half of the filling and half the tart pastry are in the freezer,
being tested for their willingness to be prepped ahead of time
and united at a later date.

And the other half: put together for dinner.

If I knew then

2011-08-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

I just came across this stack of message pads. I'd forgotten I had them. I bought them almost 8 years ago because G had become very unreliable about taking phone messages when I was at work. I thought if I put a message pad and a pen by each phone, he would have no excuse not to make a note of the message. They proved to be remarkably ineffective - he still wouldn't write down messages, which I found absolutely baffling.

What I didn't know was that he was already in the grip of dementia, but it was manifesting itself as apathy more than anything else. There weren't signs of forgetfulness, which is what I thought dementia was all about. I thought he was being difficult, not that he was sick.

I think it's time to convert these to another use. Scratch pads, perhaps.

Stood up at the checkout counter

2011-08-29T08:00:00.002-05:00

Not stood up, actually. Stiffed. Not paid by the ebay buyer. No responses to my emails or to ebay's "open case" queries (whatever those might be). So I've relisted it on behalf of my boss. I'm curious, though, why someone would bid on a very expensive piece of equipment if they didn't intend to pay for it.

It's an infrared camera, aka a thermal imager, used to "see" temperature differences when testing homes and buildings for air leaks and sufficient insulation - all about comfort and energy conservation. It's one of the tools used by energy consultants, and my boss recently upgraded to a newer model so doesn't need this one.

To show potential buyers that this is a working piece of equipment, we included in the listing two pictures of the camera in use (by me, but all I did was hold the IR camera while my boss took the pictures - I'm office help with very superficial knowledge of this business).

In the IR camera image, the window at the left shows up as light colored, not because it is covered with a white blind, but because it was a warm day and the window was warmer than the walls of the office. Dark areas are cooler in the images. When testing homes in cold weather, the windows appear dark (because they are colder than the walls), and if there are air leaks in the walls around windows or doors, they appear as dark streaks in the images. Documenting this information helps a homeowner or building owner know what kind of remediation is needed to improve comfort and reduce energy waste.

Isn't that interesting? I think so.

Night shift

2011-08-27T00:05:00.001-05:00

It moves after dark.

Making its way from room to room.

From dining room to kitchen.

Heeerrrrrrrre's Roomba!

Pet hair, begone!

Many happy returns

2011-08-26T08:00:00.003-05:00

My grandmother always signed the birthday notes she wrote us,

"Many happy returns of the day."
I didn't really understand what it meant
until I was older and stopped to think about it.

Yesterday was G's birthday.
I made apple-pecan cake to take to the day program
(which he didn't want to go to)
and reserved enough for us to have after dinner.

Elizabeth, our caregiver last night,
brought a very fancy cake that said,
"Happy Birthday Mr. G."
So of course we had that cake.

Some of us didn't wait for the cake to be cut and served.

Many happy returns of the day, love.

Emphasis on happy.

Organic hitchhiker

2011-08-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

While unpacking the weekly vegetable box from our CSA,
something caught my eye.

Hey, what are you doing there?

I think it's trying to wave.

Attached

2011-08-24T08:00:00.001-05:00

On days like this, I wish for an attached garage.

The rain held off while I picked up G from the day program,
but as we drove home, the skies opened.

We sat in the car, waiting for the rain to subside,
listening to it pounding on the car roof,

watching it cascade over the windshield,
turning the view into a series of Impressionist paintings.

After I ran to the house to unlock it
and retrieve a jacket for G,
the rain slowed, then stopped.

The sun came out and changed the landscape.

When I went into the day program today,
G was sitting at a table with the other men,
playing a game.
He turned to me and asked with a little smile,
Are you mad at me?

Mad? No, why?

Because I'm not ready to leave.

Could it be week 10 is the turning point?

Weekend

2011-08-23T08:00:00.002-05:00

It was such a perfect weekend.

Headed to the cottage with G and Arleen,
a wonderful caregiver we've known for five weeks
and who is now also our dear friend.

Drove through a torrential downpour and thunderstorm on the way,
but arrived to dry air and sunny skies.

My mom came down to the pier to sit while I swam (floated, really),
and we got caught up.

After dinner, a hot air balloon launched nearby,

and what a pleasure it was to watch it ascend
into the beautiful evening sky.

Celebrated G's birthday a bit early, with brunch for the family.

Visited the garden of friends of my parents,
looking for inspiration for perennial color,
as my garden is at a low point right now.
Then went to two nurseries, also looking for inspiration,
and found this brilliant phlox.

There was only one, and as this plant is not deer resistant,
my mom and I didn't have to fight over which garden it will grace.
It came back to Illinois with me.

Worked around the yard, pulling weeds,
cutting back spent day lily stalks,
and dodging the sprinklers my dad had going
while putting up stakes and twine around the swale gardens
which are being eaten by deer or rabbits or both
despite regular spraying with deer-repellant.

Sat on the porch with my parents and Arleen,
and G was especially engaged and found a lot to laugh about.

Admired the Joe Pye weed along the shoreline.

And the water was so clear,

even the zebra mussels clinging to the rocks were visible.
Bummer.

After the long trip home, G said, "I can feel that I'm improving."
My throat closed up, and I had difficulty answering him.
Yes, love, I can feel that, too.

That was close

2011-08-20T06:00:00.002-05:00

5:10pm - *Clock ticking* Call to caregiver agency; no answer. Leave voicemail: Where's Tina?

5:15pm - *Sound of the doorbell* A caregiver stands at the door. Never met her before. Drat. Now I have to spend my time training someone new in what we need, where things are, how best to help G. My evening plans did not include time for this. Hi, come in, nice to meet you. I'm surprised to see you; I didn't get a call that someone new was coming. Let me introduce you to my husband.

6:20pm - *Plates on the table* Dinner finally ready, nearly an hour later than planned, because of orientation being given to new person, who is asking lots of questions, making suggestions, trying to be helpful. Finally, Could you please sit and chat with G while I put the final touches on dinner?

6:35pm - *Forks contacting plates* The trek from couch to table has taken 3 times longer than normal, because instructions on helping G stand up and walk need to be repeated, demonstrated, repeated, demonstrated.

6:50pm - *Rattle of fork on plate* The caregiver is trying to take G's plate away. No, he's not finished with his dinner. No, please ask him directly, not me. Yes, you can take my plate, thanks very much. No, he's still not finished.

6:52pm - *Sounds of water running in kitchen, dishes clinking* Please don't wash the dishes! That's very thoughtful of you, but we have a dishwasher. Please don't let the water run, we try to conserve. Thanks so much.

7:15pm - *Sigh* See 6:35pm note, in reverse. G settled in recliner. Instructions not sinking in as fast as I would have hoped. I'm heading outside to work in the yard. Then I have to do some errands and walk Oscar.

7:20pm - *Sounds of reel mower whirring through grass* Cutting the grass at breakneck speed - want to have it done before we leave town tomorrow morning. Still have to do errands and walk Oscar.

7:50pm - *Car keys jingling* I need to get some groceries; I have my cell phone with me. Here's the number, written by the phone. One-touch button on the phone next to G will also dial it. In case you need me for something.

8:10pm - *Cellphone ringing* A call from our home number. Hello? Yes, I'm just pulling in the driveway. Yes, I'll be right in.

8:15pm - *Sigh* G won't cooperate with new caregiver on getting-ready-for-bed routine, hence the phone call. Five minutes of explaining why we hire people to help us, people much nicer and more patient than I am, doesn't convince him. Never mind. Let me know when you're ready to go to bed, and we'll do it then, whether the caregiver is still here or not. It would be nice if you would work with her now. She's only here until 9pm. No? OK, then. I have to walk Oscar while the caregiver is still here. So I'm going out now.

8:23pm - *Yips of happiness from Oscar* Want to go for a walk? It's dark, but there is still a bit of light in the sky, dimming quickly. The night is warm. It's good to be outside walking with an enthusiastic companion, but I prefer to walk a little earlier, when there is still some light. But the force has not been with me this evening on getting things done when I planned.

8:43pm - *Wild barking* Oscar pulls at the leash, barking like crazy at something a few feet from us in the park. What? What are you barking at? I don't see anything. Oh, wait. Oh!

(not my picture)

8:44pm - *Running feet* Quick, quick, quick, Oscar, let's hurry this way! No, this way! This way!

8:50pm *Front door closing* Subsequent travails with husband's recalcitrance and new caregiver's inexperience pale in comparison to the near miss with the skunk.

Big brother

2011-07-29T10:20:00.007-05:00

The five kids on Christmas morning

Today is my big brother's birthday.

He's the oldest of the five of us.

To give you some idea of the kind of guy he is,
a few years ago while the family was gathered for our summer reunion,
we played the game "If - Questions for the Game of Life."
Someone chose this question for each of us to answer:
If you had to pick one person to help you
in any kind of situation,
who would it be?

We each wrote down our answers
and then revealed our choices.

Unanimous:
Big brother.

Capable.
Loving.
Resourceful.
Unflappable.

Happy birthday, Big bro.
I'm so glad you're my brother.

Love,
Ginnie

P.S. Forgot to mail your birthday card on time.

There could be consequences.

2011-07-27T22:12:00.005-05:00

"Be careful not to crush your skulls."

Spoken by our fitness instructor during our Body Pump class tonight. It is very hot and muggy out, and at the Y, it was very hot and muggy in. So everything was damp and slippery, and the instructor was warning us to have a firm grip on the barbells during a triceps pullover move. Or there could be consequences.