Saturday morning we were on track to leave for the cottage for Labor Day weekend. Arleen, our caregiver, arrived at 8:00am, and I was feeling pretty good about us getting on the road by 8:45. She took over helping G get dressed while I headed downstairs to cook the oatmeal. A bit later I could hear the two of them coming slowly down the stairs, and then, nothing. For some reason, G got stuck on the landing, just 4 stair steps away from being in the kitchen. It took almost 30 minutes to convince him to come down those last stairs so he could have breakfast.
After breakfast we tried to get G to go down the 5 stair steps from the kitchen to the back door so we could head for the car and start our trip. He kept wanting to sit down on the stairs, and nothing we said dissuaded him. He was insistent that he stay there, that he couldn't stand up, that he couldn't move. 45 minutes later, he finally stood up and came down those last stairs and out to the car. All three of us were worn out.
All the while this was going on, I was trying to understand what might be causing this change in behavior. Nothing new/different in meds, in foods, in amount of sleep the night before. And wondering, should I keep pushing him? Is this the right thing to do, or should we abandon the weekend?
When we arrived at the cottage, the first thing he said to my mom was, "I'm glad I'm here." And he enjoyed himself all weekend.
I still expect logic to rule in our house. And then I'm reminded it doesn't.
Dear Ginnie,
ReplyDeleteI know that there is nothing I can say that will assuage the hard, hard things that are happening to you and your loved one.
Damn.
Please know that I do listen and that I do care, and that even if I do not have good words, wisdom, or balm, I am here.
Four steps, five or more are a mountain for you both.
Sending love, e.